We all go through seasons in life when everything just feels too heavy. Seasons where we are being smacked by one problem after another, one disappointment after another, barely even giving us the chance to breathe. It’s like every single time we try to stand back up, something pops up and knocks us off again.
During these seasons it can be hard to stay hopeful. This is where even the smallest reminder can go a long way.
This past year has been difficult for me. My mental health has been suffering, and my anxiety is constantly through the roof. I always feel like I’m not doing enough, but at the same time, I really don’t have the energy and motivation to keep pushing the way I used to.
I’m constantly being hit by back-to-back problems. It’s like every time I think that I couldn’t drown any further, life proves me wrong and I’m dragged even deeper. Going through these difficult seasons is not easy. Often, we find ourselves so consumed with the negativity, the pain, and the heartbreak that we find it so difficult to see any light or hope for us.
If you’re currently feeling the same way, please know that you are not alone. What you’re feeling right now is valid. It’s okay to feel defeated, but please always remember that, regardless of how difficult things may seem right now, there is always a way out of this dark hole.
In this blog post, I will be sharing with you some powerful reminders that have helped me navigate the most difficult moments. While these reminders did not necessarily fix all my problems and make the pain go away, they did make things easier to bear. It gave me the hope and strength that I needed to help me keep going and keep trying.
I’m hoping that it will do the same for you.
Gentle Reminders for When Life Feels Heavy
1. You Don’t Have To Have It All Figured Out
When we are facing so many problems, it’s natural to have this urge to fix everything all at once. We often push ourselves to find all the solutions. I was guilty of doing this too.
When I was navigating my rock bottom, I wanted to find answers to my problems immediately. I thought that if I could do that, I could somehow turn my life around overnight and finally escape the pain and the heartbreak. I pushed myself to work even harder and to continuously try to fix everything that I was facing.
I thought that I was doing the right thing, but I didn’t realize that by wanting to figure everything out all at once, I was only making things even more difficult for me. Honestly, doing that just made things even more overwhelming to the point that it was so much more difficult to bear. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I found myself paralyzed by the overwhelm.
I had so many sleepless nights trying to find answers to my problems. It was exhausting, and it just made me feel more hopeless. Now I realize that there is strength in acknowledging that we don’t need to have everything figured out. We don’t need to find the answers all at once.
Often, the best thing that we can do, especially when we are struggling, is to focus all our energy on just taking the next step. We don’t have to rush everything and force ourselves to have all the answers right away.
We have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to fix our lives overnight. It’s okay to take small steps. It’s okay to slow down and just breathe.
If all you did today was survive, then please know that that is more than enough.
2. You Are Not A Burden
I have always struggled with this. I’ve always found it so difficult to reach out and ask for help because I was so afraid of being a burden to other people. When I was going through a difficult period in my life, I chose to keep everything to myself because I didn’t want to burden others with my problems.
It didn’t matter how broken or exhausted I was, I still pretended that I was okay to the people that I loved. I have always believed that since these are my problems, then naturally, I should be the only one who should fix them.
I didn’t realize that this belief was only making things even more difficult for me. Not only was it so isolating but it also kept me stuck in a cycle of self-suffering. It took some time for me to finally realize that the people who truly love and care for you will never see you as a burden.
They actually want to be there for you, not just in your good times but most importantly during the times when you are at your lowest. I want you to know that asking for help and letting someone in even just a little, is never a sign of weakness. It doesn’t make you a failure and most certainly, it doesn’t make you a burden.
We were never meant to carry everything all at once on our own. Often, the bravest thing that we can do is to reach out and let someone know what we are going through. While doing this may not solve our problems, it does make it so much easier to bear because we are no longer doing it on our own.
3. There’s Nothing Wrong With Taking Small Steps
It’s so easy to start believing that the only steps worth taking are those that are huge and life-changing. Society often makes us believe that success must be fast and visible, and that if we are not making all these big moves, then we are not moving at all.
I used to believe this too and when I hit rock bottom, this belief only magnified. I wanted to turn my life around as quickly as possible, so I set all these unrealistic goals and expectations for myself, thinking that if I continued to push myself to take all these giant leaps, then I would be able to fix my life immediately.
But what it did was the exact opposite. Pushing myself to take all these giant steps only made things so overwhelming for me to the point that I was so emotionally and mentally drained that I could barely function. This made me realize that there is nothing wrong with taking small steps.
In fact, often this is one of the best things that we can do for ourselves. You see, when life is already overwhelming enough, pushing ourselves to take all these giant leaps would only add to our overwhelm and stress.
During these moments, the best thing that we can do is to allow ourselves to take small steps. Doing this doesn’t mean that we are not aiming high or that we are just settling for mediocrity. It simply means that we are giving ourselves permission to move at a pace that is kind and sustainable.
One that doesn’t drain us and adds more pressure and stress to our lives. We have to always remind ourselves that progress is not always loud and big, often, it’s about showing up, even if it’s hard, and just doing what we can with what we currently have.
4. It’s Okay To Rest
When we are going through hard times, it’s easy to take rest for granted. Especially when we have so much going on on our plates, we tend to think that slowing down and allowing ourselves to rest would be nothing but a complete waste of time.
I used to think this too. I thought that my time was better spent solving my problems and doing things to make my life better. So I continued to push myself. I completely ignored the signs of burnout and exhaustion and I kept telling myself that rest was something that I would earn after I turned my life around and fixed my problems.
It took some time for me to realize that rest is not a reward, it is a necessity. It’s not something that hinders our progress. It’s actually what makes progress possible. You see, the more that I took rest for granted and the more that I pushed myself, the more difficult it was for me to think clearly, I was not focused, and most of all, I was becoming even more hopeless.
Instead of actually moving forward, I was stuck, unable to keep going because I was so mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. That’s why we always have to remind ourselves that there is nothing wrong with allowing ourselves to rest. Doing this does not keep us from solving our problems.
It doesn’t mean that we are weak or that we are giving up. It simply means that we are honoring our needs and choosing to care for ourselves in the process.
So please don’t hesitate to give yourself time to pause, breathe, rest, and refill your energy.
5. You Are Not Falling Behind
When we see everyone around us navigating life like a pro and just basically moving forward with ease, it’s easy to start believing that maybe we are falling behind. I thought this too.
Seeing everyone around me continue to grow without missing a beat while here I was struggling to keep my head above water, just made me feel like I was not doing enough and that I was failing.
If you’re currently feeling this way, I want you to know that just because you’re currently struggling in life doesn’t mean that you are falling behind. Human as we are, we all have our own battles and struggles but going through difficult moments doesn’t mean that we failed.
It’s all simply part of life. We all go through different journeys and take different paths, we should never compare our timing or our pace to somebody else’s. Know that growth doesn’t look the same for everyone, just because you’re currently going through hard times doesn’t mean that you are not growing and moving forward.
Sometimes, growth looks like simply surviving through the day or choosing to keep going even when everything in you wants to give up. Remind yourself that just because your journey doesn’t look the same as everyone else’s doesn’t mean that you are failing.
You are growing at your own pace. You’re not falling behind. You are exactly where you need to be to become who you are meant to be. So keep going.
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6. You Can Feel Joy Again
When we are going through difficult times, it’s easy to start believing that we will never be happy again. This is what I thought too.
When I was navigating one of the lowest points of my life, I started believing that maybe my life would only ever go from bad to worse. And that, regardless of what I do maybe I would never be able to find joy and happiness again and that I would always be miserable. But I was wrong.
I learned that regardless of how defeated we may currently feel at the moment, it’s important to remind ourselves that we can feel joy again. Feeling joy is not about having a perfect life. Even in the moments of sorrow and pain, joy can still exist. Joy is not the absence of pain or problems.
It is about allowing ourselves to acknowledge even the smallest glimmer of hope and light in the darkest days. It is about reminding ourselves that even in our lowest moments, we are still capable of laughter, lightness, and love.
Joy can be found in the quiet strength it takes to get out of bed on the days when everything feels too heavy. It can be found in moments when the weather is going our way or when we first take a sip of coffee and it’s just the right temperature.
The important thing to remember is that choosing to see joy in all those things doesn’t mean that we are ignoring our problems or minimizing the pain that we are currently feeling. It just means that we are choosing to hold on to hope in any way that we can.
So, please don’t ever make yourself believe that joy is not possible because it is and often it can be found in the simplest things and most unexpected places.
7. Being Vulnerable Is Not A Sign Of Weakness
I have always struggled with this. Vulnerability was never my strong suit. Every time I would go through something, my go-to was to always run away from my emotions.
I didn’t want to deal with them so I kept them hidden. When someone very close to me died, I was heartbroken but instead of actually feeling my emotions, I chose to bottle them all up. I thought that I was doing the right thing.
At that time, I actually believed that as long as I kept all my emotions bottled up, then eventually they would all just go away. I thought that allowing myself the time to break down and face them was nothing but a complete waste of time. But I was wrong.
Bottling them up did not make them go away. It made things heavier for me. Instead of actually allowing myself to heal and move forward, I was stuck in a loop of self denial and emotional exhaustion. Not only was I preventing myself from healing, but I was also making things so much harder for myself.
Running away from my feelings did not make things easier in the long run. For what it’s worth, it only made things worse. The more I avoided my feelings, the louder they became. It reached a point where I could no longer pretend to be okay. Everything was spilling and I was on the verge of breaking down.
This made me realize the importance of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. There is nothing wrong with letting ourselves feel. The truth is that bottling up our feelings does not make them go away. It just delays the healing.
I know being vulnerable can be scary, but we have to remind ourselves that doing this does not make us weak. It doesn’t mean that we failed. It actually takes a whole lot of strength and courage to let ourselves feel and to show up honestly. It’s about giving ourselves the chance to heal instead of pretending that we are okay.
The more that we try to suppress our emotions on days when life gets tough, the more difficult it becomes to carry the weight of them and keep moving forward. Please don’t ever feel like you have to silence what you’re feeling or run away from it.
You deserve to give yourself a safe space to feel all your emotions. This is where healing starts. So cry, vent, scream if you must. Know that by feeling all your emotions, you are lightening the emotional load that you have been carrying for so long and finally making space for healing and peace.
8. There Is No Rush To Be Okay. Take Your Time
When we are going through a difficult period, it’s normal to want to fast forward through the pain and land on something safe and comfortable again. I’ve felt this too. When I was at my lowest, there was nothing more that I wanted than to skip past the heartache and the pain and finally wake up in a version of life that didn’t hurt anymore.
I wanted to get through it right away. I tried everything to speed up the process. I tried staying busy, pretending that I was okay, and I constantly distracted myself. But none of them work. It actually just delayed the process of healing.
The truth is, healing is not something that we can rush or even fake our way through. We can’t just rush ourselves to be okay and move forward right away. True healing takes time, and you know what? There is nothing wrong with that.
You don’t have to push yourself to be okay right away. You don’t have to have all the answers and keep pretending that you’re okay. Healing is different for everyone, and there is certainly no timeline for when you should feel better.
Take all the time you need. Doing this will not make you weak. You are allowed to move and heal at your own pace. You are allowed to not be okay for a while. Remind yourself that there is no prize for getting over the pain quickly. However, there is peace and calmness in allowing yourself to get through it at your own pace.
9. This Is Just Temporary
When we are being hit with one problem after another, it’s easy to think that our lives will only ever go from bad to worse. It’s easy to start believing that maybe this is how life is supposed to be for us, the problems never-ending and heaviness never lifting.
I thought about this too, and now I know that I was wrong. Please know that regardless of how defeated and dark it is right now, this is not going to be your forever. Remember that change is constant. Your pain is not gonna last. The hard days are not going to stay. Soon, things will change and it will get better for you.
Keep going and keep holding on to hope, even in the smallest things. Trust that this is not the end of your story. This is just temporary. You will not feel this way forever, even if it’s hard to believe right now, but that’s certainly the truth. Better days are coming, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
10. You Are Doing The Best You Can And That’s Enough
When we are going through difficult times, it’s easy to take our efforts for granted.
When I hit rock bottom, I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I still wasn’t doing enough. I blamed myself for every little thing. I kept comparing my progress to other people’s, thinking that I was too slow or too broken to catch up.
I kept telling myself that if I only tried harder or pushed more, then maybe I would finally feel okay. But I was wrong. I’ve learned that healing and moving forward look different for everyone. Just because my journey didn’t look the same as theirs doesn’t mean that I failed.
If you think that you’re not doing enough or that you are failing, I want you to know that you are doing the best that you can, and that is more than enough.
Our healing doesn’t have to be loud. It doesn’t always need to be visible, and most importantly, it doesn’t need to meet anyone else’s timeline. Often, healing is slow and quiet. Sometimes it just means simply getting through the day.
Don’t ever feel like you are not doing enough because every time that you continue to show up, even when everything in you wants to give up, you are choosing strength. Know that just showing up is enough. Just trying again when things fall apart is enough.
Remind yourself that you are already doing so much. Give yourself a huge pat on the back and know that every effort, every step, big or small, matters.
Final Thoughts
I may not know what you’re going through now, I may not know the pain that you are currently feeling, but what I do know is that you are a fighter. Just by being here, reading this post means that you are not willing to give up, and you should be proud of that.
Your heart may feel so heavy now, and you may think that you don’t have it in you to see this through, but you do. I want you to know that you have within you this invaluable strength that will carry you through life’s challenges. You are so much stronger and capable than you give yourself credit for.
Never forget all the times that you’ve thought you wouldn’t be able to pull through, and yet here you are, still standing and still fighting. You are certainly strong enough to get through this again. Keep moving forward, and please know that I’m always rooting for you. You got this.
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