We all go through difficult periods and face challenges that just seem to test every ounce of strength left in us. We may find ourselves awake in the middle of the night wondering, how to get through these hard times. During these moments, please know that there is a way out of these dark days. You can get through these hard times and come out stronger and more resilient on the other side.
Two years ago, I went through a really dark and difficult period. I found myself at my lowest (again). I honestly thought that after what I’d gone through a couple of years back I was in the clear (at least for a couple more years) but of course, life doesn’t work that way. It can throw unexpected challenges at us, often when we feel least prepared to handle them.
Just when I thought, I had overcome my biggest challenges, new ones appeared but the difference between the last time and this time is how defeated and exhausted I felt now.
Honestly, it felt like I didn’t have any hope or fight left in me. I felt so hopeless and alone and I started believing that there was just no point in trying to pick myself back up, especially when life just seemed to keep knocking me down.
Do you know the feeling you get when you’re so relieved to find a solution to your problem only to be smacked with an even bigger problem? That’s what it felt like to me. Those repeated blows not only drained my energy but also made it harder to envision a path forward where things might finally start to improve.
I thought that I would be stuck in this perpetual cycle of disappointment and setbacks forever. But I was completely wrong to think that. It’s crucial to remember in these hard times that we are never truly stuck and doomed. Regardless of how exhausted and defeated we may feel, we will be able to get through these difficult moments and improve our situation for the better.
Know that you have that invaluable strength within you that’ll carry you through these hard times. While this definitely doesn’t mean that life will just be sunny days moving forward.
There are steps that we can take to help us find the strength, hope, and motivation that we need to keep going and push through even when it feels like our life is falling apart.
In this post, I will be sharing with you the steps I took that helped me get through hard times. These steps have tremendously helped me carry on even in my lowest moments and I’m hoping that it will do the same for you.
While these steps are certainly not instant solutions to our problems, they can serve as tools to help us stay resilient and find hope and inner peace even in difficult moments.
How To Get Through Hard Times
1. Focus On What You Can Control
When we are struggling in life, some of us tend to control everything around us just so we can regain a sense of security and stability. I’m certainly guilty of doing this.
For the longest time, I’ve always had this habit of wanting to micromanage even the smallest details of my life. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of energy and time, I’ve spent trying to ensure everything goes exactly as I planned. I’ve spent so many nights, trying to predict every possible outcome and prepare for every scenario.
This habit didn’t change even when I was navigating my lowest point, frankly, it just magnified it. I thought that if I continued to do this, I would somehow prevent things from falling apart completely. But of course, that wasn’t really possible.
The reality is that regardless of how hard we try to control every aspect of our lives, there will always be things that are beyond our control. Spending all our time planning for every possible scenario doesn’t guarantee that the outcome will unfold exactly as we expected.
Honestly, this habit just made things even more difficult for me. It just made me feel more defeated and hopeless, every time something didn’t go according to plan. The constant pressure to manage every detail perfectly only magnified my frustration and made each setback feel like a personal defeat.
I’ve learned that one of the best things that we can do, especially when we are going through hard times, is to accept the things that are beyond our control and instead, focus all our energy and effort on the things that we can truly influence.
We have to remind ourselves that doing this doesn’t mean that we are giving up and just leaving everything to chance. It actually means that we are making smart choices about where to use our energy. Instead of worrying about things we can’t change, we work on what we can. Doing this helps us feel more in control and less stressed.
I’ve realized that choosing to focus on what we can control not only reduces stress but also enhances our ability to handle whatever life throws our way more effectively.
2. Take It One Day At A Time
When we are going through a difficult period in our lives, it’s easy for our thoughts to spiral out of control and get tangled up in fears about the future or regrets about the past. This is exactly what happened to me.
I was so caught up in wanting to find solutions to all my problems right away. I wanted to fix everything at once and thought that if I just worked harder and faster, I could improve my situation instantly.
But this constant striving for immediate answers and results did so much more harm than good. It just made everything more overwhelming for me to the point that it paralyzed me. Instead of actually taking the steps needed to better my situation, I ended up feeling stuck, cycling through the same worries without making any real progress.
This made me realize just how crucial it is to take things one day at a time. Giving ourselves the permission to focus only on what we can influence within 24 hours, allows us to break down our challenges into smaller, more manageable tasks.
This not only makes our goals feel more attainable but also helps to diminish the anxiety associated with looking too far ahead into the future. By concentrating on what we can accomplish today, we can make steady, incremental progress.
We have to remind ourselves that taking it one day at a time doesn’t mean that we are ignoring the bigger picture or that we are neglecting long-term planning. It simply means we are approaching our larger goals in a more effective way.
Doing this helps us stay grounded and prevents us from becoming overwhelmed by the magnitude of our problems. It helps us focus on the present moment instead of getting lost in endless “what ifs.”
Yes, this “take it one day at a time” strategy may not solve all our problems instantly, but it does help us regain a sense of control over our lives. It makes us feel less helpless and reminds us that while we can’t change everything overnight, we can make choices each day that will lead us in the right direction.
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3. Give Yourself Love And Kindness
Being kind to ourselves and showing ourselves compassion is one of the most crucial steps that can help us learn how to get through hard times. Most of us are guilty of being our own harshest critics. I know how easy it is to beat ourselves up, especially when we are navigating through difficult times.
For years, I have always believed that for me to be able to do my best in everything that I do, I needed to constantly be my worst critic. When I was navigating my lowest point, I thought that I needed to be overly critical about all my mistakes for me to push myself to work even harder.
I thought that by being my worst critic, I was somehow helping myself navigate through this difficult period. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Constantly beating myself up did not push me to be my best self, it only made it more difficult for me to even see my strengths or acknowledge any progress I made.
This constant harsh self-criticism only destroyed my confidence and fueled my fears, making every setback that I experienced insurmountable. If you’re guilty of doing this too, please know that you deserve to give yourself the same amount of love and kindness that you so freely give to your loved ones.
Giving ourselves love, understanding, and kindness, especially when we are going through difficult times, allows us to acknowledge our struggles without judgment, giving us the space to breathe and find clarity amidst turmoil.
By affirming our own worth and nurturing our well-being, we build inner strength and resilience, equipping ourselves to face life’s challenges with a more balanced and hopeful perspective.
Know that self compassion doesn’t mean that we are being self indulgent. Rather, it’s about recognizing our human limitations and treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to others.
This approach encourages us to take responsible actions towards our recovery and growth, while also acknowledging that it’s okay to have moments of struggle. So, please stop beating yourself up and start giving yourself the love and kindness that you deserve!
Take this 30 day self love challenge to start loving yourself more!
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Set Small And Realistic Goals
When I was going through a difficult time, I wanted to turn my situation around as quickly as possible. I thought that the best thing to do was to set all these big goals and expectations. I thought that doing this would somehow push me to work even harder and to achieve faster results.
But of course, that wasn’t the case. By setting all these huge goals and unrealistic expectations for myself, I was just adding more stress and anxiety to my life. It only made things more overwhelming to the point that I was so afraid to even try because the fear of not achieving these huge goals was just so paralyzing.
Each day, rather than feeling motivated, I felt increasingly defeated, realizing that the gap between my expectations and reality was too wide. This made me realize the importance of allowing ourselves to set small and realistic goals, especially when we are already going through so much.
We have to remind ourselves that doing this doesn’t mean that we are settling for mediocrity or that we are not aiming high. It simply means that we are taking manageable steps to achieve our bigger dreams. By setting smaller goals, we allow ourselves the chance to celebrate small wins along the way, which keeps us motivated and pushes us to keep moving forward.
It’s about making progress in a way that’s sustainable and kind to ourselves, especially during tough times.
So, please don’t hesitate to give yourself permission to set small and manageable goals. Know that with each task that you complete, no matter how small, you are still moving closer to your larger goals.
5. Revisit Past Wins
Reflecting on our past achievements can be a great tool in helping us get through hard times. We all know how easy it is to feel defeated every time we face a setback or encounter a new challenge.
It’s easy to start doubting our capabilities and strengths, especially when life seems to keep hitting us with one disappointment after another. During these moments, revisiting our past wins and achievements can serve as powerful reminders of our resilience and adaptability.
If you ever find yourself trapped with feelings of doubt and defeat, take some time to reflect on your past successes, no matter how small they might be. Write them down, look at them, and remember the effort you put in and the obstacles you overcame to reach those milestones.
Remind yourself of all those times you thought you wouldn’t be able to make it through and yet here you are, having pushed past those challenges and emerged stronger. Know that you are capable of more than you often realize.
This self reflection is not about boosting our ego, it’s about understanding and acknowledging our growth and capacity to adapt. Carry this reminder forward as you face new challenges. Know that you’ve done it before, and you can certainly do it again.
6. Appreciate The Little Things
When life gets hard, some of us often forget to appreciate the good little things that are happening in our lives. We often get caught up in all our problems and focus all our attention on the negatives, overlooking the small joys and victories that happen.
I was certainly guilty of this. I’ve allowed myself to focus on everything that was going wrong in my life without realizing that doing this was not only draining my energy but it was also making me feel more hopeless.
By allowing myself to focus only on my problems and every little thing that was going wrong, I was unintentionally magnifying my distress and overshadowing any potential sources of happiness, no matter how small it was.
This constant focus on the negative aspects just made it so much more difficult to see any progress or positive changes, trapping me in a cycle of disappointment and discouragement. This made me realize just how crucial It is to practice gratitude, especially when we are navigating through life’s storms.
I know that doing this is not easy, especially when we are faced with so many troubles and problems but we have to remind ourselves that being grateful and appreciating the little things is not about pretending that everything is okay.
It’s not about minimizing our problems or ignoring the real challenges we face. Instead, it’s about finding a healthier balance in our perspective.
It’s about choosing to find hope and peace, even in the smallest things. It’s about recognizing that the good can coexist with the bad, and that focusing on positive aspects does not negate the difficulties but can provide us the strength to deal with them.
I’ve learned that this approach can tremendously help us cope with stress more effectively and can give us the hope that we need to keep pushing through.
7. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
I have always found it so difficult to ask for help. I’ve always had this notion that since these are my problems, then naturally I should be the only one to solve them. So, I kept putting on this facade, even to the people that I love, that I had everything under control and that I was perfectly okay.
Honestly, the real reason why I find it so difficult to reach out and ask for help is because I was so afraid of burdening other people with my problems. I know that they already have their own battles and I didn’t want to add to their burdens and stress.
Refusing to reach out and ask for help only deepened my isolation and made my struggles feel more overwhelming. It took reaching a breaking point to realize that everyone, at times, needs support. I’ve learned that opening up to other people doesn’t make us a burden. I want you to know that you will never be a burden to people who truly love you.
In fact, they actually want to be there for you. They want to help carry the load and be a part of your journey. It’s important to remind ourselves that asking for help doesn’t mean that we are not capable or that we have failed.
It simply means that we are human, and that involves having both strengths and vulnerabilities. We don’t always have to know all the answers. We don’t always have to solve everything on our own. It’s perfectly okay to ask for help and to share the load.
I honestly think that it takes a great deal of strength and courage to acknowledge when we are stretched too thin and to ask for help. So, please when everything gets too much, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust and ask for assistance.
Life can be difficult and we all need someone in our corner from time to time to help us through those tough moments.
Final Thoughts
Before I end this post, please know this: I know that things may be difficult right now, and you may already feel so defeated and emotionally exhausted, but please know that this is not the end. As cliche, as it sounds, your today is not going to be your forever.
Change is constant and I know that today may be challenging but this doesn’t define your entire journey. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and hold on to even the smallest glimmer of hope. Know that in time, you will get through this. Keep reminding yourself that you are strong, you are capable and you are worthy.
So, take a deep breath and trust that you have the power within you to face whatever life throws your way. Believe in your ability to overcome and remember that each challenge is temporary. You got this and please know that I’m always rooting for you!
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