10 Things I Stopped Doing That Improved My Life Instantly

Often, we don’t realize it, but our habits and the things that we are so used to doing can greatly impact the quality of our lives.

When I was looking for ways to improve my life, I thought that I had to add more things, more routines, more goals, and more productivity hacks. But I was wrong. The truth is that often, improving our lives could also be done by removing things, like our habits, mindsets, beliefs, and the commitments that constantly drain us.

It’s not always about adding more, it’s about making space for the things that truly matter to us and the habits that will greatly benefit our well being and happiness.

In this post, I will be sharing with you the things that I stopped doing to improve my life. I hope that by sharing these things with you, they might inspire you to reflect on your habits, beliefs, and mindsets, (not to judge yourself) but to gently explore what’s truly helping you grow and be happy and what’s holding you back and making life more difficult for you.

How To Improve Your Life

1. Stop Comparing

Growing up, I was constantly compared to other people. I was made to believe that everyone around me was my competition and that I had to continuously outdo them just to be worthy. I took this belief with me as I grew older and I spent so much time comparing my success to someone else’s.

It didn’t really matter how much I achieved, every time someone else succeeded, I still felt like a total failure. It took a breaking point for me to finally admit to myself that living that kind of life is exhausting and just making me so unhappy. We can’t spend our lives constantly comparing, not if we want peace and joy.

I’ve learned that constantly comparing ourselves to other people doesn’t really help make our lives better. In fact, it just makes it worse. It chips away from our confidence, worth, and joy.

It constantly makes us believe that we are running this some type of race that we could never win. It’s like regardless of how hard we try, there is always someone out there who is more successful, who is achieving more and somehow, we end up convincing ourselves that their success is a direct reflection of our worth and value.

We have to remind ourselves that everyone’s journey is different and just because our journey doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean we failed or that it’s wrong and less meaningful.

We don’t have to constantly compete with other people just to feel worthy. You are worthy just as you are now. The only person who you should ever compare yourself with is the version of you from yesterday. Constantly comparing our lives with other people not only steals our peace and joy but also keeps us from truly growing, from improving our lives, and from becoming the person we are meant to become.

2. Stop Complaining Too Much

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that complaining is a bad thing. Complaining can be a great avenue for us to express and release our frustrations and vent our problems. The problem really starts when we start complaining about every little thing.

This is what happened to me. When I was navigating a low point in my life, I was so consumed by the negativity and the problems that I was facing that I found myself constantly complaining. It started with the little things then over time, I started complaining about even the smallest inconvenience.

I thought that it was okay and healthy to do that. I thought that by complaining I was releasing the frustrations that I didn’t want to carry. And maybe in some way, I was at certain moments.

But over time, complaining too much just made me so bitter and angry. It only made me so irritable that it affected the way I saw everything. Complaining did not help improve my situation. It didn’t really help fix my problems. The truth is, it just made things more difficult for me.

Constantly complaining made me focus solely on the negative things that were happening in my life. I was blinded by so much negativity that I started taking the good things for granted. It just made me feel more unhappy and hopeless. Now, I realize that often complaining too much is not healthy.

Sometimes it just blinds our perception and magnifies everything that is going wrong in our lives. We have to remind ourselves that not every problem needs to be met with complaints. Often, the best thing that we can do is to pause, breathe, and meet it with patience and acceptance.

Instead of focusing all our energy and attention on complaining, it’s better to use that energy to find solutions to our problems instead.

3. Stop Waiting To Love Yourself Until You’re “Better”

It’s easy to take self love for granted. I was guilty of this too. For the longest time, I have always been my own harshest critic. I would constantly criticize even my smallest mistakes. I would magnify every flaw that I had and I continuously beat myself up for every shortcoming.

At that time, I really thought that I was doing the right thing. I believed that by being my own worst critic, I was somehow pushing myself to be better. I was pushing myself to improve my life and avoid failure and mistakes at all costs. I thought that self love could wait.

I would love myself once I achieve all my goals. I would start loving myself once I turn my life around for the better. But I was wrong. One of the best things that we can do, is to love ourselves through every season of our lives. I honestly think that loving ourselves, during our lowest is one of the greatest things that we can do to help improve our lives.

You see, all that constant negative self talk didn’t really push me to be better. It didn’t help improve my life nor did it help me find happiness. It just actually destroyed my self confidence and it made me start questioning my capabilities. It made me feel so miserable about myself and it just made life more difficult.

I’ve learned that growth and improvement don’t come from a place of judgment and harshness, they come from a place of compassion, understanding, and kindness. There’s no perfect time to start loving yourself than now. Remind yourself that improving our lives involves learning to be kind to ourselves and loving ourselves even during our lowest moments.

4. Stop Waiting For The Perfect Moment

I used to think that before I could chase my dreams, I needed everything in my life to fall into place first. I thought that I had to wait for this exact perfect moment, when all areas of my life, were perfectly aligned.

I thought that this moment existed, though maybe not now or in the near future, but I believed that someday it would come. Someday my finances would be ready. Someday I will be more confident. Someday I will have more time.

But the truth is that someday may never come. That perfect moment that I’ve been waiting for may never happen and I’m left stuck, and still waiting to live that life that I want.

It was when I hit rock bottom that I finally admitted to myself that often that perfect moment will never happen and if I wanted to improve my life and chase my dreams I had to do it now. Not when I feel more confident or when life is easier. Now.

We have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to figure everything out all at once before we can start improving our lives or making our dreams a reality. Sometimes we just have to take one small step. Life is far too precious to waste so much time waiting for that perfect moment.

Because honestly, waiting for that perfect moment just keeps us stuck in fear. It just delays our growth and progress. So please don’t ever hesitate to start now. Start where you are and with what you have. You may not know all the answers just trust yourself enough to start anyway.

5. Stop Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Most of us have this notion that the only goals and expectations worth setting are those that are huge and life-changing. I believed this too.

When I was climbing out of rock bottom, I wanted to turn my life around as quickly as possible. I thought that the best way to do it was to set all these huge goals and unrealistic expectations. I believed that by doing this I would push myself to work even harder and motivate myself to change everything as soon as possible.

But what if did was the exact opposite. Instead of actually motivating me, it just made things even more overwhelming to the point that it actually paralyzed me. I can’t even begin to tell you the number of sleepless nights I’ve had because I was so anxious about not doing enough and not getting better soon enough. It was exhausting and so mentally and emotionally draining.

This led me to realize that often one of the best things that we can do for our growth is to stop setting all these unrealistic expectations and goals. We have to remind ourselves that there is nothing wrong with starting small and moving slowly.

Doing this doesn’t mean that we are not aiming high or that we are just settling for mediocrity. It simply means that we are giving ourselves the chance to grow without pushing ourselves to burnout and breaking down in the process. We have to remember that progress and growth are not always about taking huge leaps, often it’s about all the small steps that we consistently take every single day.

6. Stop Measuring Your Self Worth By Your Productivity And Achievements

Growing up, I was made to believe that my worth was tied to two things. One would be based on how useful I was to other people. The second would be based on my achievements. I took this belief with me as I grew older. I always equated my worth to my productivity and achievements.

If I wasn’t accomplishing something, I felt like I was falling behind and that I was failing. For every failure and mistake that I made, I would always feel like they are a direct reflection of my worth and value. I was constantly chasing one accomplishment after the other believing that maybe the next one would finally make me feel like I was enough and worthy.

If you feel the same way too, please know that your worth is never tied to your achievements or productivity. I want you to know that your worth is inherent. You are worthy and enough just as you are now. You don’t have to continuously prove yourself and keep chasing accomplishments just to feel like you matter.

Please always remember that your value isn’t something that increases only when you’re excelling and accomplishing things. Even in your lowest moments, even when you make mistakes and fail, you are still worthy and enough.

7. Stop Taking Your Mental Health For Granted

For the longest time, I have always been guilty of taking my mental health for granted. I didn’t really see the importance of it. I thought that it was nothing but a complete waste of time. I believed that if I was able to continue to do all my responsibilities then it didn’t really matter how I felt.

But of course, I was wrong. I learned the hard way that our mental health is just as important as our physical health. It wasn’t until I broke down that I finally had to admit to myself that I was wrong to take my mental health for granted. I didn’t realize that by constantly pushing myself when I was so exhausted, I was slowly contributing to my mental and emotional burnout.

At that time, I thought that I was doing the right thing. I wanted to improve my life and I believed that for me to do that, I needed to continuously be productive. If you feel the same way too, please know that rest is not something that you have to earn. Rest is a necessity.

I’ve learned that taking time for ourselves and allowing ourselves to slow down doesn’t mean that we are weak. Now I honestly believe that it takes strength to acknowledge our needs, mentally and emotionally, and even more strength to honor it without feeling any shame or guilt.

We have to remind ourselves that taking care of our mental health is never a waste of time. Our mental health greatly impacts all areas of our lives. If we take the time to nurture and care for it, we are not only helping ourselves, we are also improving the ways that we connect with others and handle problems and struggles, ultimately benefiting the overall quality of our lives.

So please don’t ever feel guilty for taking a mental health day. You deserve it.

8. Stop Saying Yes When You Really Mean No

How many times have you said yes to something you really didn’t want to do in the first place because you were so afraid of disappointing other people? I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve done this.

I’ve always had a hard time saying no to other people because I was scared that it would directly affect my worth and value. So, it didn’t really matter how many things I had on my plate already or how exhausted I was, I was still compelled to say yes to their requests.

What I didn’t realize is that by continuously saying yes to others, I was also constantly saying no to myself. My mental health took so much toll and I was always constantly drained and exhausted. On days when life was already so stressful, constantly saying yes to other’s requests just made my days even more difficult and overwhelming.

If you’re guilty of doing this too, please know that there is nothing wrong with saying no and setting boundaries. Just like everybody else, you deserve to take care of your needs. Saying no to other people’s requests will never be a direct reflection of your worth.

Always remember that your worth is never tied to how available you are. You are worthy simply because you exist. It’s okay to prioritize yourself. It’s okay to say no to take care of your needs. What you’re doing is not only an act of self love but it is also self respect.

We have to remind ourselves that if we constantly say yes to other people’s requests just because we don’t want to disappoint them, we will never have the time and energy to show up for ourselves.

9. Stop Bottling Up Your Emotions

I have always struggled with this. For the longest time, I have always been guilty of bottling up all my emotions and running away from them.

Every time, I would go through something, I’d tell myself that it wasn’t a big deal and I kept on pretending that I was okay. I thought that if I just kept running away from what I felt, eventually they would all just go away.

But of course, that’s not the case. Bottling up our emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, they just pile up and wait for a moment to finally explode and that’s what exactly happened to me. It took breaking down for me to finally admit to myself that bottling up my emotions was not a healthy way to cope with things.

At that time. I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing. I didn’t realize that by refusing to feel my emotions, I was not only keeping myself stuck and delaying the healing, but I was also adding so much weight and burden onto my shoulders. Not only was it making me so unhappy, but it also just made life more difficult.

I’ve learned that the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge all our emotions. Doing this does not mean that we are weak. It simply means that we are finally giving ourselves a safe space to feel everything without any judgment so that we can finally start healing and move forward.

We have to set ourselves free of that burden that we have carrying for so long and finally allow ourselves to breathe, reset, and start again.

10. Stop Holding On To Grudges

I know how difficult forgiveness can be. Growing up, I was deeply hurt by the people that I love. I was made to believe that I constantly needed to earn their love. I took that anger with me as I grew older.

I thought that by holding on to that anger, I was somehow protecting myself. I thought that as long as I held on tightly to the pain and the resentment then no one could ever hurt me again. I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing. I didn’t realize that by holding on to that anger, I was also keeping myself stuck in the past.

By allowing myself to cling to the resentments and the pain, I was not only hurting myself over and over again but I was also delaying the healing that I desperately needed. Holding on to that anger was like carrying this giant weight with me. It made me so bitter and angry at the world.

It took some time for me to realize that one of the best things that we can do for ourselves is to let go of the grudges and practice forgiveness. We have to remind ourselves that practicing forgiveness is not about minimizing the wrongs that they have done or invalidating the pains that they have caused.

It’s about choosing to set ourselves free from the burden that we have been carrying for so long and finally allowing ourselves the space to truly heal and move forward. Forgiveness is not something that we do for them, it’s something that we do for ourselves.

Final Thoughts

It’s important to remember that regardless of where we are in our lives right now, we have to power to improve it and change our situation for the better. We don’t have to make big changes right away.

We can take small and easy steps. The important thing is to remember that improving our lives is not a straight path. There will be days when we will feel like we are making so much progress but there will also be days when we feel like we have taken three steps backward.

During those days, please don’t be hard on yourself. It’s normal to go through ups and downs, the important thing is to keep going and keep trying. Please remember that I’m always rooting for you.