“Get your life together“, has certainly been one of the phrases that I tell myself every time I feel so defeated and overwhelmed with all the challenges that life throws my way. This phrase served as my silent mantra reminding me that regardless of how defeated and hopeless I’m currently feeling, I have the power within me to turn my life around.
But sometimes when everything just gets too much, getting our lives together is not really that easy. No matter how many times I whisper this phrase to myself. Getting your life together when everything around you seems to keep falling apart just seems impossible.
This is exactly what I felt when I hit my rock bottom. I was drowning in so much debt, grieving the loss of a loved one and I was in between jobs. Honestly, I wholeheartedly believe that there was no way that I would be able to get my life together during that period. Not when every day felt like a battle that I could never seem to win.
Every day I would wake up, trapped in a never-ending loop of hopelessness. I thought that there was no possible way for me to have everything figured out right now and that life would forever be difficult for me.
But the thing is, I’ve learned that getting your life together is not really about figuring everything out and just perfectly breezing through life. As I’ve continued navigating that lowest point of my life, I’ve realized that getting our lives together is not about achieving perfection, it is about progress, big and small.
Getting your life together is not about creating a life without challenges and pain. It is about building resilience to face adversities head-on, developing the capacity to heal from the pain, and learning from each and every experience that we go through.
As we continue to navigate the journey of getting our lives together, I would like to share with you the steps I took that not only helped transform my perspective and helped me find hope in tough times but also paved the way for growth, healing, and getting my life back on track.
I’m hoping that these steps will help you in your journey to getting your life together.
How To Get Your Life Together
1. Let Go Of What’s No Longer Serving You
Letting go of what’s no longer serving you is an important step in helping you get your life together. I have always been guilty of holding on to certain habits and sometimes even relationships that were detrimental to my well-being and growth just because they felt familiar and comfortable.
It took a long time for me to finally face the hard truth that by holding on to those things, I was only sabotaging my life and keeping myself from getting my life back on track.
I knew that if I wanted to get my life back together, I had to re-evaluate my habits and relationships and have the courage to gradually distance myself from those who were only harming my well-being and inner peace.
If you are also guilty of holding to things that are bad for you, please know that while the process of letting go may be challenging, it can also be empowering and freeing. When you are walking away from the things that are not good for you, you are giving yourself the opportunity to walk toward a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling tomorrow.
Know that when you’re letting go of what’s no longer serving you, you don’t have to make drastic changes all at once. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the safe space to do this gradually and at your own pace. Remember that every step that you take, no matter its size, is still a significant and important step toward your healing and growth.
2. Take Time To Reflect
When I was getting my life together, I wanted to spend every moment of my time, taking action and finding solutions to the challenges that I was facing. I believed that slowing down during this moment was not an option.
But I was wrong. The thing is, by relentlessly taking action without allowing ourselves time to pause and reflect, we risk neglecting the opportunity to assess whether our actions are truly serving our goals and aligning with our values. I’ve realized that taking the time to reflect does not slow us down.
In fact, it is a necessary step for us to gain clarity, look at things from a different perspective, and change course if needed. Reflection allows us the chance to discover whether our path is really taking us to where we want to go.
So, please don’t hesitate to carve out moments of reflection in your journey. The important thing to do during this period is to be completely honest with yourself.
Here are a few examples of self reflection questions that you can ask yourself that will greatly contribute to getting your life together.
What matters most to me in life?
When do I feel most alive and engaged? What does a fulfilling life look like to me?
What brings me genuine joy and contentment?
What limiting beliefs may be hindering my progress or wellbeing?
3. Set Realistic Goals And Expectations
Another important aspect of getting your life together is setting realistic goals and expectations. When I was getting my life back on track, I wanted to push myself to achieve all these exceptionally big goals. During that moment, I believed that setting myself up for unattainable goals will make me work even harder and push me to be more driven and motivated.
But that wasn’t exactly the case. Doing this did not only make everything more overwhelming and daunting for me but it also made me feel like a total failure every time I did not measure up to all those unrealistic goals. It just made me feel more defeated and disappointed to the point that I started losing the drive to even keep trying.
I’ve realized that while aiming high is certainly commendable, it’s important to strike a balance between aiming high and being realistic. It’s important to ensure that our goals are achievable within a certain time frame and with the resources available to us.
Otherwise, we will only be leading ourselves to frustration and burnout, making it even more difficult for us to keep taking action in getting our lives back together.
4. Create A Routine
Creating a routine can be a tremendous help when you are getting your life together. When I was navigating this journey, creating a routine provided a sense of structure and predictability for my everyday life.
This was very important to me since every day felt like I was being hit with one challenge after another.
My routine served as my anchor during those uncertain times. It made me feel that though there were so many external circumstances that were beyond my control, I still had the power to influence certain aspects of my life.
Creating a routine provided me with a sense consistency that I deeply needed during that period of my life.
The important thing to remember when you’re creating your routine is to create one that is best suited for your lifestyle. I can’t tell you how many times I tried following all the routines I read about online only to realize that they didn’t quite fit with my circumstances making it even more difficult for me to stick with it.
Honestly, I believe that following the routines of highly successful people will lead to instant success for me. But the thing is, everyone’s life is different and what works for one person may not work for another.
That’s why it’s so important to create a routine that suits you. Doing this will make it so much easier for you to stick with it and be consistent. Also, please don’t hesitate to adjust your routine when needed.
Remember that life can throw unexpected curveballs our way, it’s important for us to be flexible and adaptable with our routines to help us effectively navigate these challenges.
Here’s a great post that’ll help you create a routine that works for you from The Spruce.
5. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
When I hit rock bottom, I had this notion that I had to fix everything on my own. Since this was my problem then it was only natural for me to be the only one to solve it.
I have always had a hard time reaching out and asking for help. To be honest, I have always been afraid to ask for help thinking that doing this would only make me a burden to other people. I knew that they were also facing their own challenges, and I wouldn’t want to burden them with mine.
So I continued to put on this facade, pretending to everyone, including the people closest to me that I was perfectly okay regardless of how exhausted and hopeless I already felt.
However, as the weight of my struggles grew, I realized that refusing to ask for help even when I needed it the most only made my challenges more difficult. It not only made me feel so lonely and isolated but it also made me feel so mentally and emotionally drained.
If you’re also guilty of doing this please know that you will never be a burden to the people who truly love you. They are not only willing to listen but they are also grateful for the trust that you are giving them by opening up.
I’ve learned that there is certainly nothing wrong with asking for help. Doing this does not mean that we are weak nor is it a testament to our capabilities. Now, I truly believe that acknowledging that we need help and reaching out signifies great strength and wisdom.
Life can sometimes be too overwhelming and difficult, it’s okay to ask for support. We all need someone in our corner to stand with us during difficult seasons.
So, please don’t hesitate to reach out especially when life feels too overwhelming.
6. Give Yourself Grace
I have always been guilty of being my harshest critic. Especially when I was going through difficult times, I had this notion that I needed to be my worst critic to bring out the best in myself.
I would constantly beat myself up for every little mistake. I thought that doing this would push me to work even harder and make me more motivated to get my life back together. But that wasn’t exactly the case.
Being my harshest critic did not make things easier for me. In fact, it just made everything more difficult. By constantly putting myself down, I was slowly losing my confidence and I was starting to question if I even had what it takes to achieve my goals.
If you’re guilty of being your worst critic too, please know that you deserve to give yourself the same amount of love, understanding and compassion that you so freely give to your loved ones. Self compassion is not about dismissing self improvement or ignoring our mistakes.
It is about acknowledging our imperfections and mistakes and meeting them with kindness and compassion. It is about recognizing that as human as we are, we are all bound to make mistakes but we should not let our shortcomings define our self worth.
When you’re in the process of getting your life back together, please don’t hesitate to give yourself grace, understanding, and compassion. Remember that the journey that your taking is not easy. Acknowledge even the smallest victory and please forgive yourself and offer yourself grace for every setback.
If you want to learn how to start loving yourself more, take this 30 day self love challenge.
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- 10 Things To Do To Motivate Yourself In Difficult Times
7. Set Healthy Boundaries
Getting your life back together is not only about taking action toward your goals, it’s also about learning to protect your time, energy, well-being, and inner peace.
Please allow me to ask you this, how many times have you said yes to things you never wanted to do in the first place regardless of how exhausted you already were? How many times have you constantly put others’ needs first without any regard for your own well-being?
I certainly know how this feels. I have always struggled with saying no, especially to the people closest to me because I was so afraid to disappoint them. It didn’t really matter if I was already so drained or if I already had so many things on my plate, I would always find a way to squeeze in that extra favor of additional task.
But the thing is, we can’t continue ignoring our needs for the sake of others without expecting any consequences. Constantly putting our needs on the back burner is not healthy and will only lead to burnout and honestly, resentment. Setting healthy boundaries is not about being unkind or shutting other people out.
It is a form of self respect. It is about recognizing that just like everyone else, you also have your own needs, feelings, and well-being that you also need to value. Setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean that you care less about other people, it simply means that you are now also considering your own well-being in the equation.
One of the greatest lessons that I’ve learned from setting boundaries in my life is that the only people who object to your boundaries are the ones who are thriving and benefiting from you having none.
8. Let Go Of Control
I have always had this habit of wanting to control every little aspect of my life and when I was struggling in life, this only magnified my desire for control. I wanted to gain even just a little sense of stability in the midst of chaos.
Everything around me was just falling apart, I thought that if I focused all my attention and energy on organizing and planning every little aspect of my life then maybe somehow I could prevent things from going wrong.
But the hard truth is that no matter how much time and energy we spend trying to control every little detail of our lives, there are still so many things that are just beyond our grasp. I didn’t realize that relentlessly trying to control every little area of my life would take so much toll on my mental and emotional health. It only left me feeling so anxious and exhausted.
I’ve learned that letting go of control is not about surrendering to chaos, it is about finding a balance between planning and embracing the journey of life. Letting go of control is about recognizing that while there are circumstances that are beyond our control, we can still control how we respond to them.
Getting our lives together is certainly not an easy task and if we continue to spend so much time trying to control every little thing while we are in the process of doing this, we are only making things much more difficult for us. It will only add more unnecessary stress and so much more disappointment when things don’t go as we planned.
One of the best things that we can do during this period of our lives is to accept the things that are out of our control and focus all our energy on the things that we can influence and change.
We have to remind ourselves that letting go of control doesn’t mean that we are giving up, it means that we are choosing to direct our efforts where they can make the greatest impact.
9. Don’t Take Your Mental Health For Granted
It’s easy to take our mental health for granted, especially when we already have so much going on in our lives. I was certainly guilty of this. I was so focused on taking all the necessary steps needed to get my life back together to a point that I relentlessly pushed myself to exhaustion and burnout.
It wasn’t until I faced a breaking point that I finally realized how much of a toll it took on my mental health. I know that when we are so focused on improving our lives, taking care of our needs might be the last thing on our minds but the truth is, there is no better time to prioritize our mental health than when we are striving for improvement.
I’ve learned that neglecting my mental health while I was in the process of rebuilding my life was not really helping me in any way. For what it’s worth, ignoring my needs and mental health was actually counterproductive to achieving my goals and living a happier and more fulfilling life.
Taking care of ourselves is not a distraction from our goals. I actually believe that taking care of our well-being helps fuel our motivation to pursue our goals with greater clarity and resilience.
If you’re also guilty of taking your mental health for granted, please know that you deserve to live a life that’s not only successful by external standards but also a life rich in inner peace and happiness. Making your mental health a priority is not selfish. It is a necessity.
If we want to continue to be our best selves and show up fully in all areas of our lives, we have to start taking care of our mental health. So please, don’t feel guilty for making your mental health a priority.
10. Don’t Hesitate To Take Small Steps
When my life was falling apart, I wanted to do everything that I could to get my life back on track as fast as possible. So, I pushed myself to take all these big leaps and make all these huge changes just so I could see quick results.
And it worked for a while until I realized that by relentlessly pushing myself to take all these big steps, I was not only adding more stress and overwhelm to my everyday life but I was also paralyzing myself.
It came to a point that I was so overwhelmed by everything that I had to do that it paralyzed me. I realized that my determination to fix everything quickly was actually hindering my progress.
The never-ending to-do list along with the mounting pressure of wanting to make massive improvements became so daunting for me that I was actually left feeling stuck and unable to do anything.
If you’re going through a tough time right now and you have this urge to make massive changes to get your life together as quickly as possible, please know that it’s perfectly okay to take things one step at a time. Taking small steps will not slow you down in the long run.
I actually learned that often taking small and easy steps is the most effective way to move forward. Doing this makes things less overwhelming and a whole lot easier for us to stick with it and to keep going.
11. Practice Daily Gratitude
I was never a believer in practicing daily gratitude before. I was always so apprehensive thinking that this type of mindset was nothing but toxic positivity.
I knew that it was so easy to be grateful when everything around you is going well and life seems to be smooth sailing but when everything around you is practically falling apart, finding something to be grateful for during that period of our lives was just impossible ( at least I thought it was )
When I was navigating my lowest point, I believed that the best thing to do was to focus all my attention and energy on my problems. I thought that doing this would make me more focused and that would push me to work even harder.
But the thing is if we allow ourselves to only focus on the problem and everything that’s going wrong in our lives, our minds will only become so consumed by worry, anxiety, and fear that eventually, it will be difficult for us to see opportunities and solutions.
Focusing all my energy and attention on everything going wrong in my life did not help me in any way. It actually just made things more difficult. It made me bitter and angry. Honestly, it just made me feel more hopeless.
I’ve learned that practicing daily gratitude is not about pretending that everything is okay or minimizing the problem that we are going through. It is about acknowledging the challenges that we are facing and choosing to focus on the aspects that bring us hope and joy.
It is about remembering that while life can be tough at times, even in the midst of a stormy season, there are still moments of hope, joy, and growth.
By shifting our perspective to those things, we are not only alleviating the burden that we are currently feeling but we are also allowing ourselves to find a source of strength, hope, and inspiration.
Practicing daily gratitude while you’re in the process of getting your life together can help you find moments of positivity even in the midst of challenges. It doesn’t really matter how small these moments may be.
Know that even the smallest moments of gratefulness have the power to uplift your spirit and remind you that there is so much more to life than just the challenges that you are facing.
It serves as a beacon of strength, reminding you that regardless of how defeated you may feel right now, there is hope, and eventually your life will turn around for the better.
It’s important to remember that the process of getting your life together is not linear and from what I experienced, it’s rarely a straightforward path. You will go through detours, setbacks, and unexpected twists and turns.
There will be so many moments where you feel like you are making great progress and days when you feel like no matter what you do you’re still standing still or even going backward.
During these moments please remember that what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. Be patient with yourself and don’t beat yourself up.
Just keep in mind that getting our lives together is not a race. It’s a journey. The important thing is to stay committed to your goals, keep believing in yourself, and continue putting in the effort, no matter how small.
You can do this and please know that I’m always rooting for you!