I hate mornings. I’m scared of the thought of waking up – waking up to face another day battling my own demons.
I’m terrified of facing another day trapped in that dark tunnel, chained to my own thoughts.
Longing to break-free. Wanting everything to stop. The thoughts. The pain.
Just wanting everything to end – I hate waking up to that feeling.
Looking back, I would have never thought of seeing myself living this never-ending nightmare.
I thought I could handle it. The world saw how happy I was, how strong I was, how I didn’t have a care in the world.
But that was the problem, the world only saw what I wanted them to see.
I was putting up this façade, ignoring the fact that day by day, little by little, depression was consuming me.
And one of the hardest parts of living with depression for me was not only admitting to the people that I love what I was going through but it was also admitting to myself that I needed help.
And the moment that I accepted that fact it became more evident to me that I needed to do what it takes to make my days more bearable.
I didn’t want to be constantly trapped in that nightmare. I didn’t want to wake up terrified every single day.
And this is what I want to share with you. Today, I will be sharing 4 Small Things I Do to Overcome Depression.
I understand that we all have different coping mechanisms, and some of these things may not work for you but these are just the small things I do every day when my depression gets too much for me to handle.
Doing these small little things makes it more bearable for me to take on these days and I wanted to share it with you in the hopes of making your days bearable(even just a tiny bit)
Forgive Yourself For Feeling This Way
Oftentimes, I spend days chained in bed, paralyzed in my own thoughts, finding it so difficult to stand up and do something.
I had a lot of things to do. My to-do list was piling up. Blog posts that need to be finished.
But when taking a shower already seems like a chore, doing all those things was just impossible.
I hated myself for that. I kept attacking myself for feeling that way.
Doing this did not help or motivate me in any way. It just made me feel worse. It just made me feel useless and it was just putting me in a much deeper hole than I already was.
If you’re doing this, you need to stop. Don’t punish yourself for feeling this way.
Know that this is not your fault and every little thing that you do is already a milestone.
Choosing to wake up every day and battling your demons is already an achievement.
Recognize what you’re feeling and forgive yourself for feeling that way.
Don’t put yourself down. You don’t need that.
Be compassionate and loving towards yourself and know that you are already doing enough.
Step Out Into The Sunlight
The feeling I have upon waking up is usually what determines my day.
There are days where I wake up feeling like I can conquer the world – which is great! It means that today’s better.
But of course, there are also these days when I wake up to a feeling of this giant cloud engulfing me. Waking up to a feeling of emptiness and pain.
And if that happens, I usually just let it be. I stay in bed as long as I can and avoid any form of human interaction.
But I knew that this was not helping. So, slowly, I tried to change this.
Now, every time I wake up to a feeling of emptiness and pain, I take all the energy that’s left in me to step outside and just sit there, even for a few minutes.
I sit there and I look at the sky.
The clouds passing. The leaves moving with the light breeze.
I take it in and somehow it makes everything lighter.
Keep A List of your Strengths and Wins
Depression is a liar. It’s this little voice in my head that’s constantly telling me that I’m a failure.
It constantly reminds me of every regret, every bad decision I’ve made – making me feel worthless.
So, to battle this, on days where I feel really good, I take the time to write down all my strengths.
Everything that I was able to accomplish. Small wins included.
I write everything that I did that made me happy.
And if I hear that little voice starting again, I take out that list and I read it.
I read it over and over again to remind myself of what I’m capable of doing.
Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder of how strong and amazing we are to help us get going and this little note does that for me.
I realized that one of the factors that made my depression worse is by ignoring it.
I shoved all my feelings under the rug and let it stay there.
I kept all the pain, the emptiness, everything bottled up until such time that I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally broke down.
I was never a” feel-type” person. I didn’t take the time to really notice how I was feeling.
I didn’t want to cry. I hated being vulnerable – I always associated it with weakness.
I was wrong.
Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a sign of strength.
It takes a whole lot of courage to face the pain and to admit to yourself that you are not okay.
So, I started to recognize and acknowledge what I’m feeling.
I simply let myself feel. I cried if I had to. I let everything out.
Surprisingly, doing this felt good. Everything felt lighter.
And I’ve realized that the more I do this, the more I become in touch with my emotions and the easier it was to control them, instead of letting it control me.
So, don’t be afraid to feel. Acknowledge it but don’t give it the power to control you.
We have to keep reminding ourselves that Depression is not a fixed state. I admit, coping with depression for me, is still a struggle.
There are days that I feel like giving up, days that I get tired of trying and fighting but I keep reminding myself that I’m strong enough to battle depression, I’m strong enough to not give in to it, I’m strong enough to not let it win.
And so are you!
What do you do to fight depression? Let me know in the comment section below or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional to get the help you deserve.