5 Life Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Living with Depression.

Depression – a deep hole that I have been constantly trying to get out of. When I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, I had no idea what it meant. I had no clue what it was.

Depression is like this giant black hole — constantly dragging me down. A giant cloud engulfing every bit of me.

The odd thing was, I didn’t even realize how deep a hole I was in until I started facing it, not until I finally had the courage to admit to myself that I have depression and there is just no sense in masking or denying it to myself.

Now, I’m not going to say that I have conquered depression because the truth is I haven’t, I may even be far from doing that but I’m learning to cope with it each and every day.

And every day I’m still constantly trying to find a life that won’t consume me.

While living with depression is my constant struggle, it this has also taught me great lessons. Lessons that helped me cope and deal with it.

And these are the lessons that I will forever carry with it me.

Here are the top 5 lessons I’ve learned from living with depression. 

Forgiveness is the key

What I discovered from constant visits with my therapist was that my depression was rooted in my childhood.

You see, growing up, I was constantly being compared to other people. I was never good enough for the people that I love.

I felt the need to always prove myself and gain other’s approval and validation.

I never felt that being myself was enough.

And you know why I have never learned to let that thought go?

It was because I never learned to forgive the people that caused that — I took their words with me.

And the moment that I started to forgive them, I also started forgiving myself.

I started to see that I was enough, that I didn’t need other people’s approval. I didn’t need other’s validation to know my worth.

I started to realize that the only validation that I’ll ever need is my own.

I know that forgiveness doesn’t come easy. It even took me more than 20 years to finally do it but it is worth it.

It’s freeing!

Just remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean that we are minimizing the pain that they have caused, it simply means that we are now ready to let go of the pain, heal and to not let them control our lives anymore.

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Save some for yourself

You can’t pour from an empty cup — I learned this the hard way.

Putting other people’s needs first is not bad but it’s also not healthy if you do it all the time, to the point where you start forgetting yourself.

Remember, taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs, happiness, and peace of mind is not selfishness.

Stop saying yes when you truly mean no. This has been one of my mistakes, I forgot to take care of myself, I gave and gave until there was nothing left of me.

I then realized that I lost a big part of myself because of doing that, a part that I may not even be able to take back.

So, don’t be afraid to choose yourself!

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Not everyone will understand (and that’s okay)

You can’t expect everyone to understand what you’re going through. Your close friends, family members, they may judge you or even sometimes question what you feel.

And that was definitely devastating for me!

This constant fear of being judged, questioned or even dismissed made it harder to open up and ask for help.

But I learned that the people that truly love you will choose to listen, now they may not fully understand what you’re going through but they will try and try and try until they get through you.

And when that happens don’t push them away, I know how easy it is to isolate ourselves but just remember that they are the ones that truly matter.

Not everyone has the patience to listen and try to get through us. Let them hold your hand and go through this with you.

Learning to do this can be tough at first but I tell you, it’s worth it!

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Hard times will always reveal the truest gems

I never really had a big circle, I had a few close friends, a couple acquaintances but even with that small number, only a few people stayed and really listened without any judgments.

Some people may try to pretend that they understand what you’re feeling and that they are there for you but at the end of the day, you will know that they don’t really care about what you truly feel.

Difficult times will always reveal the most genuine people — so hang on to them!

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help

I had a hard time grasping what I truly felt, I didn’t understand what was going on, I was blessed to be encouraged by the people that I love to seek professional help, after a couple visits with my therapist, I discovered that opening up and talking about what I felt to her helped.

It helped me a lot. It gave me a sense of clarity towards the emotions that I felt and for me, that was comforting.

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If you are also dealing with a mental illness, please know that you are not alone. There will always be hope! There will always be people who will listen, people who care and loves you unconditionally.

I know how difficult it is to believe that anything positive could happen but trust me, they do. So, don’t give up and let’s continue fighting it together!

17 thoughts on “5 Life Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Living with Depression.

  • April 30, 2018 at 3:21 pm
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    Great article, really hit home the comment about forgiving yourself. Sounds like you are doing great and definitely learning more about yourself and what makes you happy 🙂

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    • April 30, 2018 at 3:29 pm
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      Hi Lauren! Yes, you are certainly right. I’am doing a little better now. ???? Thank so much for dropping by! ????

      Reply
  • May 2, 2018 at 7:03 pm
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    Thank you for being so honest about your journey with depression and sharing your wisdom. You have learned a lot and it takes a very strong person to be willing to be so open to other about it ❤

    Reply
    • May 3, 2018 at 2:28 am
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      Hi Nicole! Awww. ???? thank you for saying that. It was really difficult for me writing about this, it was hard opening up and sharing it with other people so knowing that someone appreciates it means so much to me. ☺️????????

      Reply
  • May 2, 2018 at 9:32 pm
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    I loved this especially the part about saving some for yourself. Thanks for sharing a great article.

    Reply
    • May 3, 2018 at 2:24 am
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      Hi Chelsey! I’m so glad that you loved it. That really means a lot to me. ????

      Reply
  • May 2, 2018 at 11:00 pm
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    I love that you include getting help. We can’ do everything on our own and sometimes need some resources and insight????

    Reply
    • May 3, 2018 at 2:17 am
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      Hi Nicole! That is certainly true. That’s the best thing about seeking help, we don’t have to go through it alone. ????

      Reply
  • May 3, 2018 at 1:39 am
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    All fantastic advice! And I love that you brought up that it’s ok to seek professional help! That’s so awesome. Seeking a neutral perspective to help you work through anything in life is fantastic and can be so helpful. I know counselling has done wonders for me in the past. <3 We never have to go it alone.
    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. This is truly wonderful! ^^

    Reply
    • May 3, 2018 at 2:08 am
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      Hi Sara! Awww. ???? thank you! It means a lot to me knowing that somebody appreciates this topic since it was really difficult for me writing about this. And you’re certainly right! We never have to do it alone! ????

      Reply
  • May 10, 2018 at 1:50 pm
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    This was so great! I loved this a lot…
    Especially the forgiveness part… I had to deal with that growing up, too, and it’s pretty much scarred me so I’m half the adult I should be by now. As well as the whole… it’s devastating when people don’t really understand or even try to understand…
    HUGS ALL AROUND

    https://gallantlygal.com

    Reply
    • May 10, 2018 at 2:59 pm
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      Hi!
      I’m so glad you loved it! ???? It was really hard for me writing about this, so it really makes me happy seeing all the positive feedbacks.
      I know how it difficult it is to carry that kind of pain growing up, and you’re right it will really leave scars. Those scars will be a part of us but it will never define who we are and what we can be. ☺️ let’s keep pushing through. You got this! ???????? HUGS!!! ????????

      Reply
  • May 11, 2018 at 11:42 am
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    Forgiveness is such a powerful thing! People misunderstand it, you are not doing it for THEM (the people you are forgiving) you are doing it for YOU. Stay strong and keep blogging – your articles will help others that need to hear your wisdom and know they are not alone.

    Reply
    • May 11, 2018 at 3:03 pm
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      Hi Mel! Your comment just made my day ???? that is my number 1 goal, to inspire and make other people feel that they are not alone. Thank you for your uplifting words! I needed to hear this today! ????

      Reply
  • May 12, 2018 at 7:49 am
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    A big hug to you! I am glad you are sharing your story with people. Depression has become a little common these days and it’s really tough to deal with it! Some people are also unaware of being in depression. This post will help many to deal with this situation! I hope you are doing well 🙂

    Reply
    • May 13, 2018 at 9:13 am
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      Hi Anjali! Thank you for your kind words! ???? that is also my ultimate goal – to be able to share and help other people in the same situation. Big hugs to you!!! ????

      Reply
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