I’ve experienced a lot of storms and struggles in life, but this year was by far the most challenging and painful one yet.
This was a year full of tests, setbacks, failures and a lot of heartaches.
You see, before this year even started, I already knew it was not going to be easy – I lost a loved one, fell into depression, went through job loss and financial problems.
I knew that it was going to take all the strength left in me to get through the darkest days of my life.
But what I didn’t know was, while this year was the most difficult and one of my greatest struggles, it was also going to be one of my greatest teachers.
It tested my strength every day — strength that I never even knew I had. It gave me a new set of eyes — eyes that were able to look for the good and beauty in pain and adversities.
It challenged me to go beyond my self-proclaimed limitations and that lead me to new doors (better ones).
It helped me grow and the lessons that it brought me, are the lessons that I will surely take with me every day as I continue my journey.
But this year is not only about taking great lessons with us as we journey the new year, but it’s also about letting go of the things that are no longer needed and are only keeping us unhappy, miserable and stressed.
With that said, here are 5 Things That You Should Let Go of Before the New Year…
Let go of self-doubt
I’ve always had high goals and big dreams.
I have always wanted to achieve great things but this year, I’ve experienced so many setbacks and disappointments, failed more than a dozen times, made so many mistakes that I started to believe that I was never capable of achieving those high goals and big dreams that I once had.
I started to doubt myself.
And that’s the reality, sometimes we all go through so many disappointments, we fail a dozen times, we try and try yet we are still not seeing any progress that we start to question our capabilities, our strengths — ourselves.
We start to believe that we will never be good enough to achieve this. We will never reach success. We will never find someone. We are not strong enough. We are not smart enough.
But you know what these are? These are all lies! These are all just self-proclaimed limitations.
So, here’s what I’ll tell you: You are capable. You are worthy and you can make it.
You just have to stop justifying to yourself why you can’t do something or achieve something — stop letting self-doubt control you and keep you from achieving your dreams!
Stop giving it the power to paralyze you and keep you from reaching your greatest purpose!
Start implementing tiny self-care habits to your everyday routine with the help of this self-care printable planner. This has everything that you need to help you rejuvenate and refresh your mind, body, and soul.
Let go of the belief that you need to have everything figured out by now
There’s always this constant pressure for us to know who we want to be, exactly where we want to be or who we want to spend our lives with.
There’s this constant pressure for us to have everything figured out — to have life figured out.
It was like this for me. I planned every little detail of my life and guess what?
It didn’t work out, things didn’t go as planned because the truth is, regardless of what we do, no matter how hard we try, there will never be a point in time where we’ll have everything figured out.
It just doesn’t work that way — and that’s completely okay.
You don’t have to beat yourself up just because you are not where you think you should be.
Where you are now is where you need to be! You were never meant to figure out life – and that’s the beauty of it.
You get to experience unexpected happiness, see unexpected beauty, you get to learn new things, you change, you grow — all of these are necessary for you to gain a deeper insight on who you really want to be and for you to reach your greatest purpose.
Remind yourself that what matters is who you are now, where you are now and what you choose to do now.
Be in the moment. Continue to give your best in everything that you do and stop trying to figure out everything and just start living!
Let go of all the grudges
After falling into depression and after a few sessions with my therapist, I’ve realized that one of the major factors that lead me into this dark hole were issues and heartaches that I had when I was younger.
You see, back then, someone very dear to me made me believe that I was not good enough.
I was constantly compared with other people. I was made to believe that I was not smart enough or good enough to achieve anything.
And I hated that person so much for making me feel that way. I took the hate, anger, bitterness, and pain with me.
The worst thing was, while I hated that person so much, I continued to believe all the hurtful words that she said.
I continued to believe that I’m not enough.
And that’s when I knew that by holding on to the hatred and anger, I was also allowing myself to be trapped in the pain of the past.
By failing to let go of that grudge, I was still giving it the power to control me and trap me in misery.
And clinging on to anger and hatred was only harming me more than it was harming her.
You see, when we choose to hold on to the grudges and bitterness, we are only allowing ourselves to relieve the pain over and over again.
It’s time to free yourself from the pain of the past and stop letting it control you!
It may not be easy, it took me more than 20 years to finally do it, but it is worth doing — it freed me!
Let go of the thinking that you always need to be 100% ready
I was stuck in a very stressful job that I didn’t love, I was good at it but I hated every day of it.
I knew that I wanted to quit and find something else that I actually enjoy but I kept telling myself that I wasn’t ready.
Because though I hated my job, I was good at it and I was afraid that if I go for something else that I wasn’t 100% prepared for, I’ll mess up.
And this is exactly the kind of thinking that keeps us from reaching our goals, from going after our dreams and from achieving our greatest purpose.
Truth be told, no one is actually 100% confident and ready for all the opportunities that come our way all time — and you don’t have to be to take the next step.
You just have to do it — you just have to take the step and remind yourself that the best opportunities are the ones that push us beyond our limitations.
Let go of the pressure that you put on yourself to be perfect
My entire life, I was always striving for perfection. I wanted everything to be perfect.
You see, I’ve always had this thought that I was not good enough. I was not good enough to achieve things, to find someone — I was not good enough for great things to happen.
That’s why I always felt the need to push myself harder every day because I needed to be perfect.
And you know what that got me? Heartaches, disappointments, and misery.
Because regardless of how many times we try to ignore it, perfection is just unattainable and if you constantly chase after it, you will only end up feeling disappointed, exhausted and drained.
You don’t have to be perfect — because no one is. Remember, perfection is not growth, it’s not self-improvement.
It’s this constant need to please other people, constantly wanting their approval and validation. You have to realize that you are enough and worthy just as you are and the only validation that you should ever need is your own.
So, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and find beauty in what you see. Embrace your flaws, your weaknesses, and everything that makes you who you are.
Always remember that you are worthy, valued and you are enough just as you are — you don’t have to be perfect.
New year or not, we should never feel obligated to hold on to things that are only sabotaging our happiness and things that are only keeping us miserable. There’s no wrong time to start a new beginning.
So, start by recognizing the things that are weighing you down and keeping you from reaching your fullest potential and achieving your greatest purpose.
Cheers to a new and bright beginning!
What’s the number one thing that you need to let go of before the new year? Let me know in the comment section below or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!