When I hit rock bottom, I started to believe that I will never be truly happy.
This year, I was at my lowest. I was faced with so much stress, struggles and I was slapped with a lot of disappointments (and I mean a lot)
It became too much for me to take that I started to become bitter and angry at the world — angry at life.
And I thought to myself that at this point, me being happy is just not possible.
That was where I was wrong.
Because the thing is when you start to focus all your energy on everything that you don’t have or on all the negativity — the bad things, bad breaks that have happened to you, you start to lose sight of the things that truly matter.
You start to forget that happiness is not based on an event, a situation, a thing or an achievement.
Happiness is a choice. Regardless of what the situation is, we always have the choice to choose it.
And it took a very long time for me to really grasp the meaning behind that phrase.
For a long time, I have always associated happiness with the things that I achieved, or all the great things that have happened to me.
I always thought that happiness means not having to worry about anything or not having any problems.
So, when I hit rock bottom and when every day, almost everything that can go wrong, goes wrong – I thought then that that was not happiness.
I then realized that I didn’t want to wake up to bitterness, hate, and despair every single day. I knew that I may not be able to change my current situation but I can change how I react to it.
And most importantly, I can change how I define happiness.
So, that’s when I started to let go of the things that only causes me pain, stress, and suffering.
Here are 5 things I gave up to be happy…
Giving up the need to always be in control
I am a control freak – I feel secure doing this. I thought that being in control means nothing could go wrong.
Like I can always create a plan b, c, and d and that gives me the certainty that things will always go as planned.
But it doesn’t. No matter how many times we try to deny it, we can never be in control of everything.
We can never be certain that things will ALWAYS work out the way we want it to be.
And quite frankly, the only thing that I get from always trying to control everything is frustration.
So, instead of worrying about everything and complaining about how things didn’t go as planned, let’s try to take everything that is out of our control as an opportunity for us to adapt and grow.
Remember that we were never meant to control everything. Instead of wasting all your energy on things that are beyond our control focus all your attention to the things that you can control.
Now, instead of complaining about my losses and my life’s circumstances, I let go, accept what it is and most importantly, appreciate what I have.
Giving up the need to impress everyone
I grew up always trying to impress people, most importantly the ones that I love.
You see, as a child, I was constantly compared to others.
The phrases: she’s better than you, smarter than you, nicer than you — were all so familiar to me.
And I believed that. So, growing up I felt the need to constantly prove myself. To always do whatever it takes to impress other people.
And I tell you, doing that is just exhausting. It’s debilitating.
And sometimes this is what we do. We all strive to show the world this image of us – this image of perfection — just so we can feel accepted and loved.
But the reality is, no matter what we do we can never impress everyone and we should never try to.
Instead of focusing all our energy on striving to impress the world – we should put all our attention into embracing ourselves – flaws and complexities included.
Stop putting on a facade. There is no need to put on a mask. You are enough just as you are and you don’t need anyone’s approval for that.
You are smart enough. Good enough. Strong enough. You are valuable just as you are – I want you to always remember that!
Stop taking your mental health for granted and start working towards a happier and healthier you with the help of this Mental Health Printable Planner
Giving up the need to always be right
I always had this strong urge of always wanting to be right. Regardless of what the situation is or what the consequences will be, I still wanted to prove that I was right.
But of course, I wasn’t. But it was just too difficult for me to admit that I was wrong. It was just too difficult for me to swallow my pride and stop protecting my ego.
And what did this get me? I only ended up hurting other people and ending great relationships just for the sake of being right.
It only caused me a great deal of stress and pain – it’s just not worth it.
I’ve come to realize that sometimes it’s just so much better to choose peace and kindness over being right.
Giving up the fear of failure
Growing up I was made to believe that failure was a bad thing – that if I fail or make mistakes it meant that I didn’t do or give my best. And that it is something that should be avoided at all cost.
So, I did that and I realized that I have placed a huge part of my dream on hold just because I was too afraid to fail.
Just because I was too afraid of making a mistake, I settled.
Now I want you to remember this: Never let the fear of failure stop you from achieving your dreams. Never let it keep you from chasing the things that set’s your soul on fire.
Failure is not always a bad thing. Making a mistake is not always bad. It only means that you are actually trying – that you are actually doing something.
Yes, sometimes failure can be painful. It can sometimes turn your whole world upside down. But more often, failure also leads to learning, to growth and a chance to gain a whole new perspective.
Giving up the need to complain about everything
After hitting rock bottom and facing setbacks after setbacks I started to become irritable, bitter and always angry.
The minute I wake up, I start to focus all my energy on all the bad things (even the smallest one) and I complain about it.
I complain about the bad things and sometimes I even feel the need to look for the negative on something that is good just so I can complain about it. Sounds silly, right?
But sometimes that’s the reality. When we are faced with struggles, so much stress and back to back disappointments we start to lose sight of everything that is good and we focus all our energy on the negativity.
And I tell you, doing this did not benefit me in any way. It didn’t make me feel better. It didn’t change the circumstances.
Instead, I only end up hurting the people that I love for my lack of appreciation of the things that they are doing for me and it only made me feel worst.
Yes, life can sometimes become too overwhelming but if we let ourselves dwell on all the negativity and in all our losses, we tend to lose sight of the things that truly matter.
Like when I was so focused on complaining about the things I don’t have, I started to forget how truly blessed I was to have a loving family supporting me.
If you feel the need to vent out about a problem – do it. Talk about it, scream if you must.
But don’t give it the power to rule and ruin your entire day – you are in control!
Always remember that regardless of what the circumstances are there is always something to be grateful for.
The sooner you believe this, the happier you’ll be.
I know that giving these things up is not something that easily happens overnight. I too still struggle with it- but that’s okay. What matters is we keep trying.
So, recognize the things that are stopping you from being truly happy and try to let them go one day at a time, one step at a time. You can do this!
What about you? Was there something that you gave up to be happy? Let me know in the comment section below or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!