10 Habits That Drain Your Energy (And How To Fix Them)

Could you also be guilty of holding on to certain habits that drain your energy? It’s certainly easy to cling to these habits without realizing that not only are they depleting your energy, but they’re also keeping you unhappy and hindering your personal growth.

I was certainly guilty of this. For years, I’ve allowed myself to hold on to certain habits and even mindsets that were not only sabotaging my mental health but were also keeping me stuck and so unfulfilled in my life.

You see, I have always been so afraid of change to the point that it became so much easier for me to hold on to habits that were familiar even if they no longer served me well. It didn’t really matter if those habits were only keeping me so stressed and defeated because they were all I knew.

This fear of stepping into the unknown and possibly facing even more discomfort kept me clinging to these old patterns, despite their negative impact on my life.

It was actually during a low moment in my life that I finally dared to admit to myself that most of my habits were not only draining my energy and making me feel more defeated and hopeless but it was also preventing me from moving forward and finding peace.

In this post, I will be sharing with you the habits that I identified as the most draining and detrimental to my well-being, along with the steps I took to overcome them.

I hope that by sharing my experience, you can find the inspiration and guidance needed to reflect on your own habits and consider what changes might benefit your own life.

It’s important to remember that recognizing and admitting to yourself that certain habits are no longer serving you is the first step and since you’re here, reading this post, you are already taking a brave step towards seeking a happier, better, and more fulfilling life. So, please don’t forget to acknowledge your courage and strength in doing this.

Habits That Drain Your Energy

1. Overcommitting

How many times have you said yes to things when you already had enough on your plate? Overcommitting is one of our common habits that can significantly drain our energy.

I’m certainly guilty of this. Growing up, I was made to believe that my worth was tied to two things. One is my achievements and two is based on how useful I am to others. This belief drove me to constantly seek validation by taking on more responsibilities, helping out whenever asked, and never turning down requests.

It didn’t really matter how exhausted or tired I felt, I always tried to do more. This need to be seen as helpful and successful made me forget to take care of myself. I relentlessly pushed myself to exhaustion and stretched myself too thin believing that this was the only way for me to be valued and appreciated.

I didn’t realize that doing this was not only greatly draining my energy but it was also making life even more stressful and difficult for me. If you’re guilty of doing this too, please know that it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to do everything for everyone. Taking care of yourself is not being selfish, it’s necessary.

As cliche, as it sounds, one of the lessons that I’ve learned is that you truly can’t pour from an empty cup. You need the energy to be productive and helpful. If you keep running on empty, eventually, you’ll break down. This is why setting boundaries is so crucial. They ensure we have the energy to tackle our responsibilities and help others effectively.

So, please don’t ever feel guilty for saying no. Remember, saying no doesn’t mean you’re letting people down. It means you’re being honest about your limits and prioritizing your health and well-being. People who value you will understand and respect your boundaries.

Start by being honest with yourself about how much you can handle. Acknowledge your own limits and recognize that it’s okay not to be able to do everything. Once you know your limits, it’s crucial to communicate those limits clearly to those around you.

When you set these boundaries, do so with kindness and assertiveness, making it clear that while you’re committed to doing your best, you also need to honor your own needs for rest and self-care.

2. Trying To Control Everything

For the longest time, I have always been guilty of trying to control every little detail of my life. I can’t even begin to tell you the number of sleepless nights I’ve had, lying awake, plotting out the next day, week, or even month, trying to anticipate every possible scenario and its outcome.

I have spent so much time and energy micromanaging every little detail of my life believing that by doing this I would somehow avoid failures, and disappointments and maybe even protect the people that I love from any harm.

But of course, that wasn’t really the case. The hard truth is, that regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying to control everything around us, there will always be things that are just simply out of our control.

Trying to control everything in our lives will never guarantee a life free of difficulties or challenges. As a matter of fact, I learned that the more we try to control everything or predict every possible outcome, the more we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration.

Doing this does not only drain our energy but also robs us of the ability to live in the moment and appreciate life as it comes. Honestly, relentlessly trying to control even the smallest detail of my life has only caused me so much anxiety and worry.

I was always bracing for things that might go wrong that I actually missed out on enjoying what was going right in my life.

One of the things that really helped me break this habit is learning to practice mindfulness and acceptance. Accepting that I cannot control everything freed me from the burden of trying to do so.

It taught me to focus my attention and energy on things that I can actually influence instead of those that are beyond my control.

Mindfulness taught me to live in the present moment and to focus on the here and now instead of constantly worrying about the future or regretting the past.

This helped me realize that most of the scenarios I spent so much energy trying to prevent or control never actually happened. And even when things didn’t go as planned, I found that I was capable of handling them much better than I had anticipated.

3. Perfectionism

Perfectionism is certainly one of the habits that drain your energy and destroy your happiness. For years, I was guilty of holding perfectionism like it was a badge of honor. At a young age, I was made to believe that mistakes and failures were not an option and that they were a direct reflection of my worth and capabilities.

So, naturally, I did everything that I could to avoid them. I took this belief with me as I grew older and I realized that society seemed to have the same belief. Everyone praised perfection and flawlessness.

They praise those who never seemed to stumble or show any vulnerabilities. This only magnified my need to be perfect.

But let me tell you, living a life constantly chasing perfection only led to a cycle of endless pressure and dissatisfaction. No matter how much I achieved, it was never enough. The goalposts of “perfect” always moved further away with each accomplishment. I was constantly stressed, anxious and so unhappy.

Now I honestly believe that perfection is nothing but an illusion. Human as we are, we are all bound to make mistakes and fail, but that doesn’t mean that we are no longer worthy of love, happiness, and second chances.

You don’t have to be perfect to be enough. Please always remember that you are enough just as you are now. Your worth is never tied to your achievements, the flawlessness of your work, or the absence of mistakes in your life.

One thing that really helped me break this habit is by embracing the concept of “good enough.” I’ve realized that doing this doesn’t mean that we are settling for mediocrity or that we are not aiming high. It is about understanding that striving for excellence and striving for perfection are not the same.

Excellence is attainable, realistic, and can coexist with mistakes and growth, while perfection is an unattainable standard that often only leads to disappointment and discouragement.

Embracing “good enough” has allowed me to celebrate my efforts and recognize the value in the work I do, even if it’s not flawless. It has taught me to focus on the process and the learning that comes from it, rather than just the outcome.

4. Not Expressing Your Feelings

I’ve always had a hard time being vulnerable. When I hit the lowest point of my life, instead of actually facing everything that I was feeling head-on, I chose to run away from them. At that time, I thought that if I just continued to ignore everything that I was truly feeling and I just kept them all bottled up, over time they would all just go away.

But of course, that wasn’t really the case because the reality is that regardless of how hard we try, ignoring or bottling up our emotions doesn’t really make them go away. It only delays the inevitable need to address them.

In my case, I didn’t realize that by suppressing what I was feeling, not only was I keeping myself from truly healing and moving forward but over time, the emotional baggage became too heavy to bear. It not only drained my energy but also greatly impacted my mental health and happiness.

I know that vulnerability can be difficult and sometimes even scary, but we have to remind ourselves that it’s okay to feel our emotions, talk about our struggles, and admit to others and even to ourselves that we are not okay. This doesn’t mean that we are weak or that we are failing.

It simply means that we are human. I truly believe that acknowledging our feelings and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable takes a whole lot of courage and strength.

One of the things that helped me start being comfortable with my vulnerability was to begin sharing my feelings in small and manageable steps. I started with writing, which was a personal and private way to express what I was going through.

Another significant step that helped me embrace vulnerability was learning to accept and respond to my emotions with compassion instead of criticism or shame.

Gradually, I began to open up to people I trusted deeply. Instead of seeing this as a weakness, I began to view it as a strength. It takes immense strength to face our fears, to be open about our struggles, and to ask for help when we need it.

5. Constantly Complaining

Constantly complaining is certainly one of the habits that drain your energy. I know that complaining can be a good thing. It allows us to vent out, and express our frustration and sometimes it can even lead to solving a problem when done constructively.

However, the problem really starts when it becomes our habitual response to every situation. When I was struggling in life, I allowed myself to focus on all my problems thinking that doing this would somehow make me more productive and motivated.

Focusing on everything that was going wrong in my life, made me bitter and angry at the world.

I complained about everything, even the smallest inconvenience. I thought that by doing so, I was acknowledging my problems and somehow facing them head-on.

However, this constant negativity just drained my energy more, and honestly, it just made me feel more defeated and hopeless.

Constantly complaining did not help solve my problems, instead, it just made it so much more difficult for me to stay hopeful and motivated.

It trapped me in a cycle of negativity, where the more I complained, the more reasons I found to complain about.

I’ve learned that while it is healthy to acknowledge and express our frustrations, it’s important to do it in a way that leads to growth and resolution rather than letting it spiral into a habit of negativity.

One of the things that really helped me break the habit of constant complaining is practicing daily gratitude. I know that when everything in our lives is going wrong, finding something to be grateful for often seems impossible.

That’s why we have to constantly remind ourselves that practicing daily gratitude is not about denying or minimizing our problems, but about changing our focus.

It’s about shifting our attention from what’s missing to what’s present, from what’s wrong to what’s right, regardless of how small and insignificant they may seem.

Starting this practice can be as simple as taking a few moments each day to reflect on the things we’re thankful for. It doesn’t have to be something big or life-changing, even the most mundane aspects of our lives can be sources of deep gratitude.

6. Negative Self Talk

Are you also guilty of being your own harshest critic? Negative self-talk not only destroys your confidence, but this toxic habit also drains your energy and motivation.

I have always been guilty of being my own worst critic. It didn’t really matter if I was at the peak of my performance or facing a setback, I would still find ways to put myself down and criticize myself for even the smallest mistake.

At that time, I honestly believed that this was helping me. I thought that by being too critical of myself, I was pushing myself to work harder and that somehow doing this would prevent me from making any mistakes.

It took a real wake-up call for me to finally realize that this habit was not only sabotaging my growth and potential but also negatively impacting my mental health and self-esteem. It made me start doubting my capabilities and I started believing that maybe I would never be good enough no matter how hard I tried.

If you’re guilty of doing this too, please know that you deserve to give yourself the same amount of love, kindness, and understanding that you so freely give to your loved ones. You have to stop beating yourself up.

This habit is only draining your energy, making it harder for you to reach your full potential, and preventing you from seeing the value in your efforts and achievements.

Start by becoming aware of your inner dialogue. Notice when you are being overly critical and pause to ask yourself if you would speak to someone you care about in the same way.

Rather than telling yourself, “I should be doing better than I am,” remind yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have right now. My best is enough.”

Learn how to start loving yourself more by taking this 30 day self love challenge now!

7. Not Taking Time For Self Care

Most of us are guilty of taking self care for granted. I certainly am. It’s easy to make time for it when everything in our lives is going smoothly but when we have so many things on our plate, making time for self care is probably not even on our minds.

A couple of years back, this was certainly me. I was focused on achieving my goals and creating the life that I wanted and I thought that the best way to do that was to constantly push myself to the limit, often sacrificing my health and well-being in the process.

I used to believe that success required sacrifice, and unfortunately, the sacrifice I chose was my well-being. This mindset ultimately led me to my breaking point.

I was exhausted, and my energy levels were constantly drained. I was overwhelmed and honestly, I wasn’t really performing at my best in any area of my life.

This made me realize that self care isn’t just something that we do to indulge ourselves. Self care is a necessity. It shouldn’t be something that we make time for only when everything in our lives is going right.

When life feels overwhelming, that’s when self care becomes even more crucial. It’s in these challenging times that we should prioritize our well-being to maintain our resilience, energy, and capacity to handle stress.

We have to remind ourselves that self care doesn’t have to take so much of our time. It can be as simple as giving yourself a few minutes to take a walk and just breathe. True self care is about listening to what your body and mind need and responding to those needs with kindness and understanding.

It’s about recognizing when you’re pushing yourself too hard and allowing yourself to take a step back. This doesn’t necessarily mean taking a full day off or going on a vacation (though those things are wonderful when possible) it’s about the small moments throughout the day that we can dedicate to our well-being.

8. Not Prioritizing

Failing to recognize your priorities is one of the habits that drains your energy. When we don’t set clear priorities, everything seems urgent and important, making it difficult to focus on what truly matters. This often results in feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out, as we try to juggle too many tasks at once without a clear direction.

That’s why it’s important to develop the habit of regularly assessing and adjusting your priorities. This allows us to allocate our time and energy more effectively, ensuring that we are focusing on the tasks that really align with our long-term goals and values.

By identifying what is most important to you, you can start to say no to tasks that don’t align with these priorities, freeing up more time for what truly matters. To do this, you have to reflect on your goals and values and ask yourself what you truly want to achieve in both your personal and professional life.

Here are some of the questions I’ve asked myself to help me determine my priorities.

What are my core values and how do my current priorities align with them?

What are my long-term goals in both my personal and professional life?

Which activities bring me the most joy and fulfillment?

What tasks or commitments am I currently engaged in that feel more draining than rewarding?

If I could focus on only one thing for the next month, what would it be?

What are the non-negotiable aspects of my life that I am not willing to compromise on?

Here’s a great post from PsychCentral that’ll also help you identify your priorities.

9. Not Seeking Help When Needed

Sometimes when we are going through tough times, most of us want to figure everything out on our own. We want to solve our own problems and overcome our challenges independently. I was certainly guilty of this.

I have always had a difficult time asking for help believing that I needed to be self sufficient and that asking for help meant that I was a failure. Honestly, the main reason why I found it so difficult to open up to other people, even to the people that I love, was because I was so afraid that by sharing my struggles, I would be adding more burden to their lives.

I didn’t want to be seen as a source of stress or worry, especially knowing that everyone has their own set of challenges to deal with. If you feel the same way too, please know that you will never be a burden for reaching out or sharing your struggles.

The people who truly love you actually want to be there for you. They are more than willing to listen to you and give you the support that you need in any way that they can.

We have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to face everything on our own. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to reach out. Doing this doesn’t mean that we are weak or that we failed.

This simply means that we are human, and like everyone else, we have our limits. Know that we all need someone in our corner from time to time to help us navigate the challenges of life.

Start by taking small steps towards opening up. Begin with someone you trust deeply, someone who has shown you support and understanding in the past.

It doesn’t have to be a grand confession. It can be as simple as saying, “I’m going through a tough time and could use someone to talk to.”

10. Holding Grudges

Holding grudges is probably one of the habits that drain your energy the most without you knowing it. I know that forgiveness is never easy. Sometimes, it’s so much easier to take the hate with us and allow ourselves to be consumed by it.

I was definitely guilty of this. Growing up, I was deeply hurt by the people that I love. They made me believe that my worth and their love were based on my achievements and how useful I was to them. I was so angry at them for making me feel this way and it was difficult for me to let go of that anger.

Honestly, at that time, I didn’t want to let it go. I thought that by holding on to this anger, I was somehow protecting myself from being hurt again.

It was as if my grudge served as a shield, keeping me at a safe distance from not just those who hurt me, but from anyone who might.

But in reality, holding on to that anger only kept me trapped in a cycle of pain and resentment. It greatly impacted my mental health and relationships. I was always angry, bitter and honestly, I felt so defeated and I was so unhappy.

One of the lessons that I’ve learned from navigating that period of my life is that forgiving others is not about minimizing the wrongs that they have done or invalidating the pain that they have caused you.

Letting go of those grudges and choosing forgiveness is about finally setting yourself free from the weight of those negative emotions that have been holding you back. It’s about deciding that you value your peace of mind and emotional well-being more than holding on to the hurt.

It’s about finally giving yourself permission to truly heal and move forward. I know that doing this is not going to be easy and it’s certainly not something that we can just do overnight.

You have to make a conscious decision every day to choose healing over hurt, peace over anger.

It’s a process that requires patience, understanding, and often, a lot of self-reflection. It may involve confronting feelings you’ve long tried to bury or acknowledging truths you’ve avoided. Know that doing this is not going to be a one-time event. I’ve learned that forgiveness is a continuous process.

There may be days when the pain feels fresh again, and on those days, you may need to remind yourself of your decision to forgive and let go. It’s okay to have setbacks in this journey, what’s important is that you keep moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Breaking the habits that drain your energy can be overwhelming and daunting. That’s why it’s so important to start small. Remind yourself that you don’t have to break all of them at once. Focus on one habit at a time and give yourself permission to take it step by step.

Know that it’s not about how quickly you can change these habits, but about the consistency and persistence you bring to the process. It’s the small, daily actions that lead to significant changes over time. Please remember to be kind to yourself during this process. If you encounter any setbacks or if you find your progress slow, please don’t beat yourself up.

I’ve learned that breaking the habits that drain our energy is often like taking two steps forward and one step back. The important thing is you keep moving forward.

Please remember, that I’m always rooting for you!