We’ve always had this notion that the holidays are a time of happiness and cheer. A time when we are meant to be at our best selves, filled with nothing but holiday cheer and merriment. But the reality is, that’s not always the case.
For some of us, the holidays can bring so many negative emotions that we are often left feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and lonely. I’m certainly one of those people. The holidays can get pretty tough for me. It always brings up a lot of negative emotions and I often feel so alone and drained.
Honestly, it can also be difficult to feel joyful and happy, especially when I’ve been through so much these past years and when most of my past holiday experiences were marked by family conflicts, personal losses, and just the overwhelming pressure to meet everyone’s expectations.
I thought that I just had to live with this kind of holiday. A holiday where joy is nothing but a fleeting glimpse, constantly overshadowed by my struggles.
For years, I thought that for me to finally be joyful and happy during the holiday season, everything had to be perfect and that every detail of the celebration had to go as planned.
But of course, the reality is, rarely everything goes according to our plans. There will always be something that unexpectedly pops up that can easily destroy our perfectly laid plans.
And when that happens, I’m often left feeling so much disappointment and unhappiness. I was completely wrong to think that joy and happiness can only come from having everything go right in our lives.
One of the greatest lessons that I’ve learned from going through rock bottom is that it is possible to find joy in our lives regardless of what we are going through.
Being joyful and happy during the holiday season is not about creating perfect moments or pretending that everything is okay when it clearly isn’t. It’s not about ignoring what you’re going through or what you’ve been through, it’s certainly not about minimizing the pain that you’re currently feeling.
It’s about acknowledging that joy can coexist with the bad. It’s about giving yourself permission to experience joy alongside the hardships that you’re facing and it’s about reminding ourselves that joy and sorrow can coexist.
I know that doing this can seem impossible. Especially when we are already feeling so defeated and exhausted, that’s why it’s so important to remind ourselves that joy is not only found in making all these grand gestures or even life-altering changes.
Know that we don’t just find joy in life-changing events. It’s also found in the small everyday mundane events that we often overlook. It’s about rediscovering the beauty in the ordinary and appreciating the subtle moments that might otherwise pass us by.
In this blog post, I will be sharing with you the steps I took that helped me find joy in the holiday season again. I hope that sharing these steps with you will help you rediscover the happiness and peace that this time of year can bring, even amidst challenges.
How To Find Joy This Holiday Season
1. Be Grateful
I know you’ve probably heard the phrase “be grateful” more than a dozen times but honestly, often, it’s still a difficult thing to do.
Sure, it’s so easy to be grateful and practice gratitude when everything in our lives is going right but when we are smacked with so many challenges and everything in our lives is going wrong, being grateful just seems to be an impossible thing to do. This is certainly what I felt.
When I hit rock bottom, it was close to the holiday season, I was going through a loss, I was financially struggling, my mental health was deteriorating and it seemed like everything was just spiraling out of control.
I thought that the best thing to do during this period of my life was to focus all my attention and energy on my problems and basically everything that was going wrong.
I thought that constantly fixating on all the negative things that were happening to me would somehow push me to work harder, to keep going, and to eventually overcome them. But what it did was the exact opposite. Instead of actually motivating me, it only dragged me into a deeper cycle of despair.
It just made everything more overwhelming and honestly, it only made me feel so defeated to the point that I found it so difficult to keep going. This made me realize just how crucial practicing gratitude is, especially during overwhelming and difficult periods in our lives.
One of the greatest lessons that I’ve learned is that practicing gratitude and being grateful is not about ignoring the challenges that we are going through. It’s not about pretending that everything is perfect when it isn’t.
It’s about acknowledging the good and the bad and choosing to focus on what we can be thankful for. It’s about finding that small glimmer of hope in everyday mundane things and taking it as a reminder that regardless of how defeated and exhausted we already feel, there are still things to be grateful for and to live for.
During this holiday season, one of the best things that we can do not just to help us find joy but also to make this season less overwhelming and stressful is to practice daily gratitude.
Know that you don’t have to focus on grand gestures or monumental achievements to feel grateful. It’s about appreciating the small moments that bring us joy, peace, and comfort.
Yes, there will be days when we have to look extra hard for that silver lining but please trust that it is worth finding. Know that even on the toughest days, if we can just find that one thing to be grateful for, it can light up our path and give us the strength that we need to keep going.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Setting realistic expectations is another important step in helping us find joy this holiday season. I know that there’s always this huge pressure during the holidays that everything has to be perfect and that we should feel nothing but happiness and cheer.
During the holidays, I used to have this notion that I needed to create the perfect holiday season for me to finally be happy. I used to spend so much time and energy trying to control every little detail of it and plan for every possible outcome.
I thought that as long as I did this I could somehow prevent things from going wrong and I could guarantee that things would go as planned and finally I could have the best holiday season.
But that type of mindset wasn’t really realistic because the hard truth is, regardless of how hard we try there will always be things out of our control and we can’t always guarantee that things will go as we planned. The more that we set ourselves up for all these unrealistic expectations, the more disappointment and heartache we set ourselves up for when things go awry.
We have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to set all these unrealistic expectations and pressure ourselves to meet every single goal the exact way we initially envisioned just for us to be happy this holiday season.
The holiday season is not about creating all these picture perfect moments. We have to release ourselves from the pressure of all these big expectations and give ourselves permission to spend it in a way that is more authentic to us.
Know that by doing these we are not only making things less overwhelming but we are also creating a safe space where we can genuinely appreciate the moments we have, no matter how small or imperfect they may seem.
By embracing a more authentic holiday celebration, we cultivate a sense of peace and joy that can carry us through the new year with renewed strength and perspective.
Related Posts:
- 10 Small Things To Do To Find Joy In Life Again
- How to be Happy – 30 Day Happiness Challenge
- How To Care For Your Mental Health This Holiday Season: 5 Easy Steps
3. Don’t Be Afraid To Start New Traditions
Before I hit rock bottom and spent one of the most heartbreaking holiday seasons, I used to have all these traditions that I’ve always felt compelled to uphold, no matter the personal cost. I thought that these traditions were what made my holidays special and cheery.
But I was wrong. That heartbreaking holiday season made me realize that joy and happiness are not tied to our traditions or the elaborate rituals we think we need to maintain. Instead, true joy comes from the feeling of togetherness and love that we share with the people around us.
We have to remind ourselves that we are allowed to let go of the traditions that no longer serve us and create new ones that are more aligned with our current circumstances and the people in our lives. Doing this does not only make the holidays easier but it also makes it more meaningful and fulfilling.
We have to remind ourselves that our happiness and joy don’t depend on perfection or on doing things a certain way, but on the love and laughter we share with the people we love.
So please, don’t hesitate to create new traditions. One that is more authentic to your current lifestyle and values. Know that doing this doesn’t mean that you are forgetting the past or the cherished memories associated with them.
Instead, it means that you’re allowing your traditions to evolve with you. It’s about honoring your past by adapting its best elements to better fit your present and future.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
We often overlook the power of celebrating small wins in making us feel happy and joyful. Society often dictates that the only wins worth celebrating are those life-changing and huge achievements that everyone can see.
I used to think this way too. I only placed importance on monumental achievements, achievements that would get me external recognition and validation. I honestly thought that these were the only types of achievements worth celebrating.
It wasn’t until I found myself at my lowest that I realized the importance of celebrating small wins, especially when we are going through an overwhelming and tough season. I’ve learned that we should never take small wins for granted, especially when we are going through so much.
Celebrating these small wins gives us the push that we need to keep going, to find joy and contentment in the now, regardless of what we are going through.
This holiday season, please don’t forget to celebrate every victory. It could be as simple as choosing to get out of bed when you don’t feel like doing it or managing to stay within your budget while holiday shopping. Know that each of these actions, though it may seem small and insignificant, contributes greatly to your success and happiness.
Please don’t hesitate to give yourself a huge pat on the back for every victory, big and small. Know that what you’re going through is not easy and by choosing to keep going, you are already showing remarkable strength and resilience.
5. Spread Kindness And Compassion
In a world where it’s so easy to be our own harshest critics and to spread negativity and anger towards other people, it’s crucial to remember the power of spreading kindness and compassion, not just to others but also to ourselves.
I know how easy it is to beat ourselves up for mistakes that we’ve made in the past. It’s easy to blame ourselves over and over again for every little thing that goes wrong. I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve been in this situation. I honestly thought that being my worst critic was somehow pushing me to become a better person.
But of course, that wasn’t really the case. Instead, it only paralyzed me and it just made life more difficult and overwhelming. I didn’t realize that I was slowly destroying my self-confidence and mental health.
If you’re guilty of doing this too, please know that you deserve to give yourself the same amount of love, kindness, and compassion that you so freely give to your loved ones.
Human as we are, we all make mistakes but that doesn’t mean that we are no longer worthy of love and understanding. This holiday season, please be kind to yourself. Know that practicing self compassion doesn’t mean that you’re being self indulgent.
It simply means that you are recognizing that mistakes are part of being human and giving yourself a safe space to learn and grow from them.
It means allowing ourselves the grace to fail and get back up again. Also, let’s not forget to offer the same kindness and compassion to others.
I know how easy it is to pass on hate and negativity without even realizing it, especially when we are stressed, overwhelmed, and hurt.
But we have to remind ourselves that everyone is fighting their own battles. We truly cannot know what a person is going through. The best thing that we can do is to offer understanding and kindness.
Let’s make it a conscious choice to spread positivity. Know that kindness is not only about all these grand gestures. Often it’s the small, simple acts that can really make a difference.
Final Thoughts
It is possible to find joy this holiday season, I know that since you’re reading this post, you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed or stressed this time of year, please take a deep breath and remember that you are not alone in this.
What you’re feeling right now is completely valid. Always remember that finding joy is not about having everything in our lives go perfectly, it’s about embracing the imperfections and finding peace and contentment in the small, everyday moments.
You got this and please know that I’m always rooting for you!
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