Finding joy in difficult times can be challenging but it is certainly possible. I have always assumed that for me to find joy and finally be happy everything has to be perfectly aligned. I thought that all the areas of my life needed to be perfectly in place before joy was possible.
But I was wrong. It wasn’t until I hit the lowest point of my life that I realized that joy can be found even in the darkest days of our lives. I’ve learned that joy is not about not having problems or not feeling any pain or heartache. It’s about choosing to find even the smallest glimmer of light and hope.
We have to remind ourselves that joy is a choice. It’s something that we can consciously choose every single day regardless of what we are going through. Being joyful is not about never struggling or ignoring our problems.
It is actually about acknowledging what we are feeling and the problems that we are going through and then consciously choosing to shift our focus and attention toward what gives our lives even the faintest hope.
I know that doing this is not always easy. Often, we get so consumed by our problems and the pain that we are feeling that we end up believing that our lives will only ever go from bad to worse.
I felt this way too and in this blog post, I wanted to share how I overcame this feeling and the things that I’ve done to help me find joy even in hard times.
I’m hoping that some of these steps will help you as much as it helped me.
How To Find Joy In Difficult Times
1. Practice Gratitude
We often forget the power of gratitude. To be honest with you, for the longest time, I have always considered practicing daily gratitude as toxic positivity.
Sure, it’s easy to be grateful when everything in our lives is going right but when we are going through difficult times, being grateful just seems impossible. I used to hate it when others would tell me to be grateful every time I was going through something.
For me, it felt dismissive. It’s like they are invalidating the pain and the problems that I was going through. When I hit rock bottom, I never bothered with gratitude, I thought that the best thing to do was to focus all my attention on my problems and everything that was going wrong in my life. I thought that doing this would somehow push me to work even harder.
But what it did was the exact opposite. Instead of actually motivating me, it paralyzed me. It made things even more overwhelming and honestly, constantly focusing on the negative just made it so much more difficult for me to find the hope and strength to keep going.
This is what made me realize just how important practicing gratitude is, especially when we are going through hard times. I’ve learned that being grateful even when things are falling apart doesn’t mean that we are ignoring our struggles or minimizing the pain that we are feeling.
It simply means that we are choosing to find even the smallest joy to help fuel our strength and motivation to keep going. Choosing to be grateful for the little things even when we are struggling did not only help me find joy amid my struggles but also helped me find the hope that I needed to keep pushing through even when things didn’t go as planned.
Yes, there may be days when we need to look extra hard for things to be grateful for, but those are the days when it matters most.
Know that it doesn’t have to be big or life changing. Sometimes it can be as simple as enjoying good weather. Anything that helps remind us that even in the midst of chaos and darkness there is still beauty and joy to be found.
2. Set Small, Achievable Goals
We tend to forget the importance of setting small and achievable goals. Society often dictates that the only goals worth pursuing are those that are huge and life changing. I was guilty of believing this too.
When I was struggling in life, I thought that the best thing to do was to set all these unrealistic goals and expectations for myself thinking that by doing this I would somehow push myself to work even harder and I could turn my life around even more quickly.
But honestly, what it did was the exact opposite. Setting all these unrealistic goals and expectations just made everything even more overwhelming for me to the point that it actually paralyzed me. Instead of actually doing anything, I was stuck in a constant state of fear of not being able to meet these unrealistic goals and expectations.
It not only made things even more difficult but also made me even more stressed, anxious, and unhappy. I realized that there is certainly nothing wrong with setting small and achievable goals. Doing this doesn’t mean that we are not aiming high or that we are not pushing ourselves.
It simply means that we are acknowledging our current situation, respecting our limitations, and working within them to still move forward. Setting small and achievable goals does not only make things less overwhelming and stressful but it also allows us to build momentum.
Each success and accomplishment, no matter how small can fuel our motivation and confidence to keep pushing. Each of these successes can give us a moment of joy, something that can help raise our spirits even in the darkest days.
So, please don’t ever hesitate to set small and achievable goals, especially when you are already going through so much. Know that doing this will never diminish your worth and capabilities.
3. Make Time For Something That Makes You Happy
When we are going through difficult times, it’s so easy to get lost in the noise and chaos of it all that we start to forget about our needs and what makes us happy.
We often get so consumed with the pain that we are feeling and the struggles that we are going through that we overlook the power of engaging in activities that bring us joy.
When I was navigating rock bottom, I believed that doing things that made me happy was nothing but a waste of time.
I thought that my time was better spent on doing things that would actually help me dig myself out of this hole.
I didn’t realize that by refusing to do anything that makes me happy and focusing solely on working my way out of difficult circumstances, I was not only losing touch with the joy in my life but I was making it even more difficult for me to handle problems and navigate stress.
You see, making time for something that makes us happy, no matter how small or trivial it may seem, does not only help lessen the stress that we are feeling but it also greatly benefits our overall well-being and mental health.
It helps us reconnect with parts of ourselves that pain and struggles can easily overshadow. Please, don’t ever hesitate to make time for the things that make you happy.
Know that it doesn’t have to take so much of your time. It can be as simple as taking a five-minute break to step outside and just breathe. Remember that what you are doing is not only beneficial but it’s also crucial in helping you handle life’s demands.
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4. Practice Self Compassion
Another vital step in helping us find joy in difficult times is practicing self compassion. I think it’s safe to say that being kind to ourselves is so much easier said than done. We are often guilty of being our own worst critic.
We constantly beat ourselves up for every little flaw and mistake. I was guilty of this too. For years, I have always been my own harshest critic and when I hit rock bottom, this habit only seemed to magnify. I thought that by constantly criticizing myself for every little mistake and failure, I was somehow pushing myself to be better.
I thought that by being my own worst critic I was motivating myself to work even harder to turn my life around. But what it did was the exact opposite. Instead of motivating me to be better and helping me turn my situation around, it just made things even more difficult for me.
Instead of actually pushing me to work harder, it made things even more overwhelming to the point that it actually paralyzed me. I was so scared of making any mistakes or taking any risks that instead of actually doing anything, I just stayed frozen in place.
It also made me feel worse about myself. Being my worst critic didn’t lead to improvement nor did it help me feel better. It just made me even more unhappy and hopeless and it only caused me so much self-doubt and insecurity.
This made me realize that one of the best things that we can do for ourselves, especially when we are already going through hard times is to give ourselves grace and compassion.
We have to keep reminding ourselves that being kind to ourselves doesn’t mean that we are being complacent or ignoring our faults. It’s about recognizing that growth is about giving ourselves room to make mistakes and learn from them without harsh judgment.
It’s about acknowledging that as human as we are, we all make mistakes but that doesn’t mean that we are no longer worthy of love, happiness, and second chances.
By learning to be kinder to myself even when things fall apart, I was able to find joy again in my small wins and in the journey of trying, instead of just focusing on the outcome.
5. Reflect On Past Achievements
When we are getting smacked with one disappointment after another, it’s easy to start doubting ourselves and our capabilities. When we are going through so many problems, it’s easy to start believing that maybe we are somehow destined for failure.
That’s why it’s so important to take some time to reflect on your past achievements. Every time you feel like doubt starts to creep in and when you feel like there’s just no more hope and fight left in you, remind yourself of all the moments you thought you wouldn’t be able to make it, and yet here you are still standing.
Remind yourself of all the obstacles you’ve overcome. All the days when you felt like you wouldn’t be able to get through it and yet somehow you did.
All of these are a testament to your strength and resilience. Reminding ourselves of everything that we’ve been through can be a powerful tool in helping us see just how strong and capable we truly are.
6. Practice Deep Breathing
Practicing deep breathing has been such a powerful tool in helping me find a moment of peace and clarity amidst the chaos. Do you ever get swept away by your negative thoughts? When we are going through difficult times, it’s easy to be consumed by all our negative thoughts and feel overwhelmed by everything that we are facing.
This is where deep breathing comes in. When our thoughts are racing and our emotions feel out of control, taking deep breaths can act as a pause button. It can help ground us, allowing us to slow down our racing thoughts and regain control of our emotions.
Every time you feel like you’re getting swept away by your thoughts or everything that you are facing, try this: find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably, close your eyes, and begin by taking a slow deep breath through your nose and then slowly exhale through your mouth.
Continue this pattern of breathing for a few minutes and make sure to focus all your attention on your breathing.
Doing this has greatly helped in reducing my daily stress and anxiety. It also helped me become more present, making it so much easier to find joy and appreciate the little things in life.
7. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not always easy. Often it can even be one of the most difficult things that we can do and yet it’s also one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves.
I struggled with this too. Growing up, I was deeply hurt by the people that I love. I was made to feel like I was nothing and that I constantly had to earn their love. I took this anger with me as I grew older and I thought that as long as I was holding on to that anger, I was somehow protecting myself from being hurt again.
I didn’t realize that by allowing myself to hold on to my resentments and anger, I was not only hurting myself over and over again, but I was also keeping myself stuck in the past, unable to heal and move forward.
One of the best lessons that I’ve learned is that forgiveness is not about minimizing the wrong that they have done or invalidating the pain that you have felt.
It’s about choosing to free ourselves from the pains of the past and finally allowing ourselves to truly heal and move forward. Forgiveness is something that we give to ourselves so that we can finally release that heavy burden of resentment and anger that has been weighing us down.
Holding on to my anger not only made me so bitter and angry at the world but it also kept me from being happy and from appreciating all the small joys that were happening in my life. I realized that by holding on to my anger, I was giving the people who hurt me continued power over my emotions and my life.
We have to remind ourselves that forgiveness doesn’t mean that we are forgetting the hurt and the pain but rather choosing to not let it control us anymore. I know that the act of forgiveness can be difficult but please know that you can do this a dozen times if needed.
Forgiveness is never a one-time thing. It’s something that we constantly have to choose every time those old feelings of pain and hurt resurfaced. Keep reminding yourself that you are not doing this for them. You are doing this for yourself.
You are doing this to finally give yourself the chance to heal, grow, and move forward in life with a renewed sense of peace and happiness.
Final Thoughts
Please know that even in difficult times, it is possible for us to find joy in the smallest things. The important thing is to work with the steps that really resonate with you.
During this process please be patient with yourself. Know that finding joy in difficult times is not about not feeling any pain or heartache. It’s not about ignoring your struggles.
It’s about choosing to recognize that joy and sorrow can coexist. I may not know what you are going through right now but please always remember that you have within you this invaluable strength that will help you push through even in the most difficult days.
Keep going. Keep looking for hope and joy even on the smallest things.
Soon things will get better. Just keep trusting yourself, your resilience, and your courage to face any adversities life will throw at you. You got this.
Please remember that I’m always rooting for you!
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