Do you still feel stuck? Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, you’re still falling behind in life? I know exactly how this feels.
For the longest time, I have always assumed that the real measure of growth are those that are huge, life changing, and visible milestones and anything that falls outside of those things is just insignificant, like they just simply don’t count.
If I wasn’t hitting all those huge goals and achieving things fast enough then I was just simply failing and I wasn’t really growing and becoming better. I didn’t realize that having this kind of mindset was actually doing so much more harm than good.
It always made me feel like regardless of what I do, it still wasn’t enough. Regardless of how hard I try to move forward, I am still stuck and unable to make any progress or grow. It took some time for me to finally realize that growth is not always loud, huge, and life changing.
Often, the most important part of growing are those that are quiet, subtle, and easy to overlook. If you feel like you’re still not growing or you’re not healing or you’re not becoming a better version of yourself, this post is for you.
In this post, I will be sharing those subtle but important signs that we are actually growing, even when it doesn’t feel like it. I know how difficult life is right now and often, these gentle reminders that we are moving forward and that we are making progress are exactly what we need to help us keep going.
So, if you’re in a season where progress feels invisible and life feels too heavy, let this post be a reminder that you are not stuck, you are not falling behind, you are growing. Make sure to save this post for days when self doubt start to creep back in and when comparison starts to take over.
Signs That You Are Growing And Doing Better
1. You catch yourself before spiralling
There was a time when you barely even noticed your thoughts spiralling. You just easily get too caught up with whatever scenario your mind was telling you at that moment. One thought or one worry would easily lead to another and before you even know it, you find yourself so overwhelmed and anxious.
But now, it’s different. Yes, you may still have instances when your thoughts spiral but instead of getting caught up in the moment, you notice it and you pause, take a breath and instead of letting it consume you, you are now able to pull yourself out of it and bring yourself back in the present moment.
That alone speaks volumes about how much you’ve grown. It’s so easy to overlook this sign or just brush it off as nothing. But please know that it’s certainly not nothing.
This may seem like just a small progress but think about the times when you would let one thought consume and ruin your entire day. All the times when you were stuck in the spiral of your thoughts and worries for hours.
Now, it’s different. You are more aware of your thoughts and you are better at recognizing when you’re starting to overthink and that difference is definitely not a small progress.
2. You stop explaining to people who don’t want to understand
How many times have you spent so much time and energy trying to explain yourself to other people or prove a point, hoping that if you just say it the right way then maybe they would finally get it?
I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve found myself in the same situation. I’ve spent so much energy trying to make people understand and convince them to see my side. I’ve spent so much time replaying conversations in my head, trying to figure out what I could have said differently.
But over time, I realized just how draining this can be. The hard truth is, it doesn’t really matter how many times we try to explain it or how clearly we prove our point, some people just don’t want to listen.
It’s really not about them misunderstanding us. It’s just that they really didn’t want to understand us in the first place. So, instead of putting so much effort and energy into trying to make them listen, it’s better if you just walk away.
If you’re also starting to do this more often, then please know that doing this is a clear sign of growing.
We finally understand that it’s not our job to keep explaining and defending ourselves to people who clearly don’t want to understand and listen. We finally see that our worth is not based on other people’s opinions of us and that our energy and peace of mind are worth protecting.
3. You’re more selective about where you spend your energy
Did you ever find yourself constantly saying yes to things you didn’t really want to do just to please others? Are you also guilty of constantly overextending yourself regardless of how exhausted you already feel?
You’re not alone. For the longest time, I was also guilty of this habit. I have always assumed that my worth was based on how much I can do for other people. I was so afraid to say no thinking that by doing this then I would no longer be worthy and valued.
But over time, I finally recognized just how destructive this habit was. This was not only mentally and emotionally draining but it was also physically draining. I was always so overwhelmed, exhausted and I was constantly running on empty. I finally acknowledge the importance of setting boundaries.
I learned that our energy is far too valuable to spend it on situations and people who don’t align with our values and goals.
If you find yourself doing this too, then please know that it is a huge sign of growth and progress. You are finally learning that your worth is never based on how much you can do for others. You are finally seeing that you are worthy just as you are now.
Remind yourself that choosing yourself and setting healthy boundaries is a clear sign that you are no longer living just to please other people. You now know that you too deserve to respect your needs and take care of yourself.
Don’t ever feel like what you’re doing is wrong. Remind yourself that setting healthy boundaries is not selfish. Being more selective about where you spend your energy doesn’t mean that you are being unkind. It’s not about shutting down the world entirely.
It’s simply about learning how to take care of yourself in a better way. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have to be available for other people at all times. It’s about acknowledging that protecting your energy and peace of mind is also part of staying healthy and happy.
4. You allow yourself bad days without any self judgment
We often believe that struggling means that we are failing or that we are not doing something right. When we go through bad days, it’s easy to beat ourselves up and tell ourselves that we are not working hard enough or that we are not doing things right.
Instead of resting and being kind to ourselves, we continue to push ourselves to work even harder and we become even more critical of everything that we do.
But now, you no longer do this. You no longer base struggles and bad days as proof that you are failing or that you are not doing enough. Now, you simply recognize bad days as part of being human and instead of beating yourself up for it, you now choose to offer yourself compassion, kindness, and understanding.
Doing this is a big win. This change and difference in how you treat yourself, especially on days when you are struggling, is a huge progress. This is a clear sign that you are growing and that you are doing so much better.
Now you understand that just because we are having bad days or that we are struggling doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. We finally recognize that growth, progress, and success are not about feeling good all the time.
It’s also about how we treat ourselves on those days that we are struggling.
5. You stop forcing yourself to be okay
Society often makes us believe that the true sign of strength and resilience is having everything together all the time. We believe that if we want to succeed and achieve our goals, we have to constantly be okay and just push through and smile through every discomfort.
We believe that there is no room to slow down, to break down, and to feel any of our pain and heartaches. Because of this, we continued to pretend that we’re fine. We continued to put on this facade that we are okay and that nothing is wrong.
Now, you no longer do this. Instead of constantly forcing yourself to be okay all the time, you finally recognize that it’s okay to feel your emotions. It’s okay to break down and to cry and that doing this doesn’t mean that we are weak.
You now stop forcing yourself to be okay when you’re clearly not. You don’t rush yourself to heal faster and to move on right away. Now, you give yourself a safe space to feel everything, to grieve, to heal, and move forward at your own pace.
Doing this is a big progress. It shows just how much you’ve grown and how much better you’ve become in treating yourself. Now you finally believe that true strength is found in being honest with ourselves and allowing ourselves to face our emotions instead of running away from them.
You now believe that strength and resilience are not found in pretending that nothing hurts. It is found in allowing ourselves to truly feel and still choose to keep going.
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6. You choose rest without feeling any guilt
For years, I have always treated rest as a reward. I had this notion that if I wanted to achieve all my goals and improve my life then I needed to continually push myself and that there was no time to slow down. I believed that rest was something that I could do once I had achieved everything that I wanted.
It took a particularly low moment in my life where I was so burned out and mentally exhausted that I finally admitted to myself that this mindset was so destructive. Now, I finally recognize that rest should never be treated as a reward. It’s a necessity. Rest doesn’t slow us down or keep us from achieving our goals.
If you also recognize this now then please know that realization is a clear sign of growth. You no longer sacrifice your needs and your health. You are now honoring your limits and acknowledging that true progress is not found in draining ourselves but in sustaining ourselves.
The fact that you are respecting your body and your needs and you are allowing yourself to rest, slow down, and take a break without guilt or without shaming yourself just shows how much you’ve grown and improved.
7. You stop minimizing your pain just because others have it worse
We are often made to believe that pain and heartache should be compared. Most of us have this notion that just because our pain is not as loud or as visible as someone else’s, then it no longer deserves attention and compassion.
We believe that we have to continually downplay our struggles and our pain and that we just have to constantly be grateful because there are so many people who have it worse. But that’s not really true.
Now, instead of constantly pushing your feelings aside thinking that it’s not valid, you recognize that pain is not a competition. Now, you understand that just because your pain is not as loud or as obvious as someone else’s doesn’t make it less real and valid.
You recognize that pain is not something that can be measured. It’s different for everyone and it should never be treated as something that we have to constantly compare. This shows tremendous growth and self awareness.
You’ve grown enough to understand that you can be grateful and you can recognize your privileges while still allowing yourself to grieve and to hurt. You now recognize that healing is deeply personal and the fact that you see this now just shows how far you’ve come.
8. You allow yourself to need help
For the longest time, I have always struggled with this. I always had this notion that I had to solve all my problems on my own. I refused to ask for any help or reach out and talk about what I was going through because I was so afraid to burden other people with my problems.
I thought that since these are my problems, so naturally, I should be the one to fix all of them. But I was wrong to think that. We all need help and support from time to time and allowing ourselves to ask for that doesn’t make us a failure or a burden.
If you can now admit that you need help, that is already a huge sign of how much you’ve grown as a person. You now recognize that being independent and strong doesn’t mean not needing any help and carrying everything alone.
You understand that human as we are, we all need someone in our corner from time to time to support us and walk with us through our lowest moments. You trust people enough to know that the people who truly love you do not only want to be there for you when everything is light and easy, but also when things are heavy.
And that right there is growth because allowing ourselves to be vulnerable takes a whole lot of strength and courage.
9. You feel less pressure to have everything figured out
When I was going through one of the lowest moments of my life, I wanted to find solutions to all my problems right away. I thought that if I wanted to turn my life around, I needed to have a clear plan and all the answers to my problems.
I had this notion that if I didn’t know what was going to happen next then everything would just fall apart again. It took some time for me to finally realize that that kind of mindset was only doing so much more harm than good.
I now realize that we don’t need to have everything figured out. Uncertainty is a part of life. There will always be seasons when everything feels unclear and unstable. Just because we don’t have all the answers doesn’t necessarily mean that we will fail or that we are doing something wrong.
If you can now make peace with not having all the answers then that right there is a powerful sign that you have grown. You’ve grown enough to trust yourself even in seasons where everything feels uncertain and doing that is never easy.
So, please don’t ever forget to honor how far you’ve come.
10. You are here, still trying, even on hard days
I know how difficult and painful life can be. It’s so easy to lose hope and start believing that it’s just so much easier for us to just give up.
The fact that you are here, still fighting, still moving forward is proof of your invaluable strength, resilience, and courage. Even on days when you feel so exhausted and drained, you still choose to stay. You still choose to keep going even through the heaviness and that matters more than you know.
Please don’t take your efforts for granted. Every day that you choose to stay and keep fighting is a huge win. Always remember that the fact that you are still here and still choosing to keep going is more than enough.
It’s proof that regardless of how heavy and dark life can get, you have the strength and bravery within you to keep trying and to keep finding hope and light even in the smallest things.
Final Thoughts
You may not always see it but these signs show how much you’ve grown and improved. Know that growth is not always loud and visible. It can also be found in the quiet changes within you.
So please don’t ever hesitate to honor yourself. Honor how far you’ve come. You are not the same person you once were. You are stronger, braver, more resilient and so much wiser.
You’ve learned how to heal, how to hope and fight in the darkest days, and how to continue choosing yourself. Those achievements are not easy and should not be taken for granted. Be proud of every step that you’ve taken, big and small. Always remember that I’m rooting for you.
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