There is no denying the fact that in order for us to truly love and accept another person we must learn to love and accept ourselves first but no matter how familiar we are with that term, we always end up ignoring it. When asked the question, “Do you love yourself?” We’re so quick to answer yes but when asked the specifics, we blank out. Many people just find self-acceptance difficult and I ‘am one of them.
I was 7 years old, she was 6. She was talented, I wasn’t. She was obedient and quiet while I was the exact opposite. She’s special and I ‘am not – that was always the phrase stuck in my head. The constant comparison between us made me believed that I was never enough, that I need to constantly strive for whatever perfection is. I always felt the need to seek confirmation and acceptance from other people.
And today’s world is no different; society often dictates us of who we need to be. Constantly creating all these inhuman standards that we need to conform to; telling us what’s pretty, what’s thin, what’s fat – what’s perfect. And the more we listen to it, the more we end up hating ourselves. The more we strive to be someone we are not.
That’s why today, I have decided to share with you, my personal 5-step guide to achieve self-acceptance. This may not happen overnight but by incorporating these steps into our daily lives, we are one step closer.
Learn to be kind to yourself
We all have to accept the fact that our greatest critic is ourselves. No one judges you more than you judge yourself. You are your worst enemy, you keep dragging yourself down and you need to stop doing that. Cut yourself some slack and be patient with your flaws; be understanding towards your mistakes and cut off all those negative criticisms.
Whenever I feel like criticizing myself for a petty mistake, I stop, breathe and I think of all the great things I did. Doing this may not come easy at first, since your brain is already trained to think negative thoughts but don’t let that stop you. Keep doing it until it gets easier and you’ll be surprised of how fulfilling it feels.
I can’t remember how many times I’ve said this to myself yet after a few hours I’m back to striving for perfection. But having experienced what I considered to be the lowest point of my life made me realized that chasing for perfection is exhausting – it’s impossible and it’s draining. We were never made to be perfect. You are allowed to make mistakes, you are allowed to fail, you have limitations – everyone does!
Stop comparing yourself
Growing up, I was constantly being compared to others. The most painful part of it was all that comparison came from the people that I love the most – my family.
So, I took their words with me. I constantly compared myself to others – thinking that they are better than me, prettier than me, smarter than me and that I need to constantly strive to be just like them.
But, that’s where I was wrong. I ‘am enough and I had always been enough. I don’t have to be like them. We can’t expect to be like someone else. You can’t expect to have the same qualities, same strengths as other people but that doesn’t mean that they are better than you or you’re better than them. We are all equally special. There’s no need to compare.
The goal of life is not to be better than everyone living on this planet. The goal of life is to be the best person that you can possibly be. So, stop the comparison game and start living your life.
Forgiveness is not only given to other people; you should also learn to forgive yourself. You might have done something in the past that you are not proud of, something that you’ve hated yourself for doing but guess what? We all have! We all have done things that we regret. Things that we wish we could take back.
So, every time you start beating yourself up for a mistake you’ve made, stop and remind yourself that those things, your mistakes will never define who you are and who you can be. You are not the person you once were and dwelling in the past is useless – it will do you more harm than good.
Pick yourself up, forgive yourself for every mistake, learn from them and allow yourself to be free from the past. Bear in mind that mistakes molds us to be the best version of ourselves. I know it’s not easy but trust me, it’s totally worth it.
Live the life that you want
We can’t deny the fact that almost all of us are always trying to blend in, trying to become what the society tells us to be. Always striving to be the people we’re not. But ask yourself, why would you even want to blend in, when in fact you can stand out?
So, stop conforming to the society’s standards. Stop living for what they say. Live the life that YOU want. Embrace who you are.
Don’t let the society dictate who you need to be. Be the person that you want. The moment that you start living your true self is the moment you’ll blossom into becoming the best version of you. Don’t let the world alter who you are and who you are meant to be.
Self-acceptance is tricky. It’s challenging. But the important thing is we keep trying. Let’s pick ourselves up piece by piece, no matter how many pieces there are, and recognize our imperfections, forgive who we were and accept who we are.
Remember, that you are special, you are more than enough, you are worth it and you deserve to be happy!
Try these today and let me know how it goes!