Most people often think of happiness as something that is earned, something that needs to be achieved or something that we have to work hard for.
Back in college, when people ask me what my ultimate goal was, I was always so quick to answer that I want to be this and that. My answers were always based on the career or job that I wanted to have. The amount of success that I wanted to achieve.
But now, when people ask me that same question, my answer’s different. “I just want to be happy” – that’s what I tell them.
But what does being happy really mean?
I always thought that happiness doesn’t come easy. That it takes effort.
And that is where I was totally wrong.
After hitting rock bottom, I’ve realized that happiness doesn’t require work, happiness is not something that we all need to earn.
Happiness is available to all of us at any given moment – even on our darkest days.
I’ve realized that the only thing that is coming in between me and my happiness was myself. I was my self’s greatest enemy.
That’s when I knew that even before being diagnosed with Depression, I already had these bad mental habits that were dragging me down.
Mental habits that were robbing my chance of happiness every single day.
And that if I wanted to make things lighter for me, if I wanted to escape that dark deep hole that I was in, I needed to break ties with those Mental Habits.
And that is what I wanted to talk to you about today, I will be sharing with you 5 Mental Habits that’ll easily steal your Happiness.
Some of these mental habits are often a part of our core already that we don’t even realize the damage that it’s causing us.
I could never emphasize enough how getting rid of these habits has helped me. It was a life-saver!
So, check them out!
Failure to Forgive
Forgiveness was the greatest lesson I’ve learned from depression.
Growing up, I was constantly being compared by the people that I love.
Their constant comparison made me believe that I was not enough, that I could never achieve great things.
And I hated them for making me feel that way. I refused to forgive.
I took the hate and the habit of failing to forgive with me, that it took so much toll on me.
Because I refused to forgive them, I took their words with me and I didn’t realize that by doing this, I was also refusing forgiveness to myself.
I was stopping myself from moving on and from letting go of the pain.
I know that often, forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. Mine even took half of my life.
But remind yourself that you don’t have to do it once, do it a hundred times if you have to. Do it every day until it gets easier.
And know that forgiveness is not minimizing the pain or the wrongness that they’ve done.
It is allowing ourselves to let go and to not let their words hurt us anymore.
It is allowing ourselves to be free.
Focusing on Problems
I had always let problems, stress and anxiety ruled my life. They were the things that dragged me into that dark hole.
Every time a problem comes up, I fixate on it over and over again until I have no more energy left to actually find a solution to fix the problem.
I panic and I keep reminding myself that as long as that problem exists, happiness is not an option. But it is.
It is an option all the time.
Sometimes the only problem that we have is how we see or perceive things and how we let it affect us.
When I had to quit my job with zero savings, and we are living on one small income and with all the bills piling up, it was so easy for me to focus all my energy on that problem.
It paralyzed me. Not only was it keeping me from thinking rationally to find other options, but it was also causing us so much stress and tension.
So, little by little I started to look at things differently. I still have those problems but instead of focusing on it and letting it affect my mood, I control my mind to focus more on what I can do to fix it and I don’t give it the power to destroy my day.
Just remember that you have the power to control your mind and perception.
Playing the Comparison Game
The comparison game has always existed. It’s not something new. It’s been around as far as I can remember.
I was also trapped in playing this game.
I was trapped into thinking that I will never achieve success.
I was a prisoner of this mindset, always thinking that I will never be good enough.
Now, with Social Media around, it’s so easy to get caught in the comparison trap.
It’s so easy to compare yourself with other people.
But remind yourself that constantly doing this will only stop you from reaching your full potential, it will only steal your happiness and it just dulls your shine.
So, instead of seeing other people as someone better than you or even as a competition, use them as your inspiration instead.
Allow them to inspire you to work hard and to continue pushing yourself. Believe in what you can do and walk your own path.
Life is not a race. It’s not about who comes first and who comes last. It’s about enjoying the journey, learning and growing.
We were meant to walk different paths and take different journeys.
So, remain confident in your abilities, work hard and love yourself for who you are(flaws included)
Thinking that things will never get better
I’ve had a lot of regrets, faced hundreds of disappointments.
I’ve been bombarded with a lot of problems – all of these got me believing that things will never get better for me, it just gets worse.
Doing this only made me focused on the negative things, on all the negativity of life. I gave it the power to overrun my thoughts.
So, even if something great happened, I was always so quick in thinking that that great thing will only fall apart.
I was so quick to judge that something bad is going to happen next because “things will never get better” was already carved into my mind.
But it doesn’t really fall apart.
Nothing bad happened. It only robbed my chance to enjoy that moment. I gave it the power to steal my happiness.
If you are trapped in that habit, have the courage to change it.
Believe that you are capable of experiencing amazing things in life.
Imagine how much peace you can feel by simply believing that beautiful things are waiting for you.
Forgetting to Love Yourself
I had always placed the feelings and the welfare of other’s first, it was always their happiness first before mine.
I thought I was doing okay, I love these people and I love making them happy.
Until I’ve realized that I was slowly losing myself.
Little by little, I was losing parts of me and that’s when I’ve realized that I completely forgot to take care and to love myself.
It’s okay to give.
It’s okay to love other people but we must never forget to love ourselves first. Remember, that you won’t be able to give other people your best if you are not giving yourself the best as well.
You will not be able to continue loving them with all your heart if you don’t even know how to love yourself.
Loving yourself and taking care of your needs is not selfishness, it’s a necessity.
For us to continue to function, we need to take the time to make sure that all our needs are taken care of.
We need to refresh our minds and reconnect with ourselves.
Never let anyone make you feel guilty for loving yourself.
Remember, the only way to be happy and make other people happy is for you to be happy with yourself as well!
Life will always be filled with ups and downs, but you will always have the option to choose happiness.
You always have the choice to be happy.
Happiness is within us, it is available to us anytime.
So, when you’re ready, recognize the mental habits that are keeping you from being happy and once you do, find the courage to change them!
What about you? Is there a bad mental habit that you would like to break? Let me know in the comment section below or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional to get the help you deserve.