Every time a new year begins, I get this sudden urge to make resolutions to improve my life, improve myself, and make it “my year.”
I then end up planning to make all these huge changes, pursue these life-changing goals, and convince myself that this will finally be the year when everything in my life will fall into place and I will finally achieve all my goals.
But then as days go by, instead of still feeling motivated to make those things happen, I slowly feel overwhelmed, I then start putting things off, reverting to old habits and routines, until it’s finally too late for me to realize that the year is coming to an end and those things that I wanted to do were never accomplished.
I’ve learned that when we constantly put so much pressure on ourselves to make all these huge changes and achieve all these unrealistic expectations just because we think that we need to make the most of the year, we just end up feeling so overwhelmed to the point that we get paralyzed and we end up not doing anything at all.
I’ve realized that the best thing to do is to not focus all our energy and effort in making this new year perfect. We don’t have to push ourselves to accomplish something big and important every day just to make this year meaningful and worthy.
That’s why I’ve decided to approach this new year differently. Instead of putting so much pressure on myself trying to achieve all these goals, I want this year to be a year that I allow myself to explore new things, step outside my comfort zone without expecting myself to do things perfectly.
I want this year to be the year that I make time for the things that truly matter, to prioritize my peace and happiness. To find joy in the little things and to make meaningful memories that I can look back on and smile about.
If you are also tired of this “new year, new me” concept. If you are also feeling mentally burned out from this constant pressure of making every new year better than the last, this post is for you.
In this blog post, I will be sharing with you things that you can do this new year without completely overhauling your life. The goal here is to remind us that we don’t have to create all these ambitious goals and take all these huge steps just to make our new year memorable.
Here are 10 things you can do this new year to make it fun, exciting, and meaningful.
1. Set Three Meaningful Goals
Before the year even begins, I used to spend so much time making a list of all these things that I thought I wanted to achieve. This list would be filled with all these big dreams and unrealistic goals.
I honestly used to believe that this was what one’s new year resolution should look like. I always had this notion that for a new year to be great, I needed to set the bar high. Looking back, I realized that most of those goals were not even the things that I truly wanted to achieve.
Those goals were just based on other people’s expectations for me. They were based on what other people are doing and what society made me believe that I should be doing at my age.
I saw people whom I grew up with achieving all these big things and reaching all these huge milestones, I thought that I needed to achieve all those things for my life to feel meaningful and fulfilled. I didn’t realize that by constantly doing this, I was only setting myself up for unhappiness.
The hard truth was, it didn’t matter how many things I checked off my resolutions, at the end of the day I still felt miserable and empty because those goals were not really mine to begin with.
That’s why it’s important to set meaningful goals. This year, let’s give ourselves permission to focus solely on the goals that we truly want, not the goals that we make just because we feel like we are falling behind or the goals that we make just to gain validation and approval from others.
Let’s allow ourselves the time to sit down and reflect on our values and priorities. It’s important to remember that you don’t need to have a long list, don’t overwhelm yourself.
Simply write down three meaningful goals. That’s it. While doing this please know that the goals that you write don’t have to be huge or impressive. Remind yourself that as long as this is what YOU want then it is more than enough.
2. Read Books That Change Your Perspective
This is probably one of my favorite steps. I have always been guilty of holding on to so many beliefs that I was made to believe as a child. I held on to these things thinking that since these were the things that I was made to believe growing up then they might be true.
One of those things was believing that being a perfectionist was a badge of honor that I should proudly wear. Another one was believing that being my own worst critic would push me to work even harder and avoid making any mistakes.
I thought that there was something wrong with me because those beliefs that I carried just made me feel exhausted and unhappy. I thought that maybe I just was not good enough but the more that I’ve exposed myself to books that challenged those ingrained beliefs, the more that I started to believe that there was never really anything wrong with me.
I know it can be difficult to expose ourselves to new ideas that challenge all the things and beliefs that we’ve held on to for years but the important thing to remember here is that reading things that are not familiar to us doesn’t mean that we have to agree with them immediately.
That is not the goal here. The goal here is to allow ourselves to reflect on perspectives that are different from our own and then choose if those new perspectives are something that we can apply to our lives.
I’ve learned that if we continue to choose not to expose ourselves to things that are new or challenge our perspective or belief, we may not realize it, but by doing that we can be responsible for hindering our own growth.
This new year, let’s allow ourselves the chance to look at life from different lenses. I know that reading can be time-consuming, and when we have so many things to do already, making time for it just seems impossible.
I know exactly how this feels but we have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to spend reading for hours for it to be beneficial for us. Even for just 15 minutes before bed every single day, that can already make so much difference.
3. Take Yourself on a Solo Date
This was definitely one of the things that I’ve found difficult to do. For the longest time, I have always been ashamed to eat in a restaurant on my own. I thought that doing that would just make me look lonely and pathetic.
I’ve wanted to try doing it for years but because I was so afraid of what other people might think of me, I just end up ordering takeout and eating it at home.
But at some point, I finally got the courage to ask myself why was I allowing other people’s opinions, people that I don’t even know, stopping me from enjoying a meal outside my home. I finally realized that there was nothing wrong with being on my own, there was nothing wrong with experiencing things on my own.
Life is by far too short and too precious to spend it worrying about what we will look like to other people. This year, let’s remind ourselves that there is nothing wrong with enjoying our own company. Doing this is actually empowering and it reminds us that we don’t always have to share experiences with other people for it to be meaningful.
We don’t need to always have someone around just to enjoy things. We can take ourselves out, eat at our favorite place, watch a movie, and still have fun.
If the idea of eating dinner at a restaurant feels too much for you at the moment, that’s perfectly okay. Please know that you don’t have to push yourself to do this right away. Just start small. Maybe go for a walk on your own, or enjoy a cup of coffee for a few minutes.
You can slowly build up your confidence by doing small things in public on your own every single day and when you think you are finally ready to do the big things, please don’t expect it to feel perfect the first time.
I knew my first time eating dinner at a fancy place on my own was not as amazing as I thought it would be. I was nervous and I still kept thinking that people were staring at me. If you feel this way on the first try, don’t let that stop you from doing it again, these things take time. Remind yourself that the real accomplishment is having the courage to do something that we are afraid of.
4. Let Go of One Thing That No Longer Serves You
For the longest time, I have always been guilty of holding on to habits, work, and even relationships that are only keeping me stuck and unhappy because I was so terrified of change.
Change has always been difficult for me and I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve chosen to stay and hold on to something that was not good for me just because it felt familiar and comfortable.
If you are guilty of doing this too, please remember that it’s perfectly normal to want to hold on to relationships, habits, and routines that make us feel comfortable, there is certainly nothing wrong with that. The problem only starts when those things are no longer helping our growth and are only keeping us stuck and unhappy.
With the new year coming, this is the perfect time to ask ourselves what habits, beliefs, routines, and relationships we are still holding on to that are no longer serving us. What are those things that we have clung to for so long despite it being bad for us and hindering our growth and healing?
During this process, please remind yourself that you don’t have to completely overhaul your life in one go. You don’t have to make so many changes in your life right away. You can just focus on letting that one thing go. Just that one thing and when you are comfortable changing another thing, you can start working on that too.
I know this step can be hard that’s why it’s important to remind ourselves that letting go of the things that are no longer serving us, is also making room for the things that will help us grow, heal, and finally be happy again.
5. Find a Form of Exercise You Actually Enjoy
This year has been difficult. I have been juggling so many problems. My mental health is struggling and finding the strength to get up and face the day is already hard enough, let alone making time for exercise.
Honestly, exercising has not even crossed my mind in months because I believed that my energy and time were better spent finding solutions to my problems, budgeting, and finding ways to survive financially. I have been so focused in all my problems that I didn’t realize that by doing so, I was also neglecting myself in the process.
I know that when life is already hard enough, taking care of ourselves is the least of our concerns. But the reality is, if we only focus on our problems and take our needs and mental health for granted, we are only making it more difficult for us. We can’t keep neglecting ourselves and constantly pushing ourselves running on empty without expecting any consequences.
Making time for yourself is never a waste of time. Exercising can be a great avenue for us to release stress, breathe, and just refocus. Often, it’s actually just what we need to keep going. You don’t have to spend money on this and you certainly don’t have to push yourself to do something that you don’t enjoy just because people claim that it’s the best exercise.
Do what you enjoy. If you love to get out, then maybe start by taking a 15-30 minute walk every day. If you love to dance, you can watch dancing videos on YouTube and follow along. The important thing is you find something that you enjoy.
I’ve learned that the more we treat exercising as a chore, the harder it is for us to stick with it. That’s why it’s important to choose something that actually makes you feel good, something that gives you a moment of peace and just focus on yourself.
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6. Make Better Sleep a Priority
This certainly goes hand in hand with what I’ve mentioned above. I know that it can’t be easy to get a good night’s sleep when we are plagued with so many worries and anxieties about the future. I struggled with this for years.
I have spent so many sleepless nights just staring at my ceiling paralyzed with all anxieties and problems. After trying so many things to help fight this nighttime anxiety, the thing that really worked for me was giving myself at least 30 minutes before bed to wind down.
I spend these 30 minutes away from any screen and I use them to calm myself. Sometimes I journal, I write everything that I’m worried about and all my anxieties. I don’t know how but putting my worries and anxieties on paper somehow makes them less overwhelming.
Some days, I also color. Coloring has this calming effect and it allows me to focus on something rather than my problems.
Another thing that also helped me was setting up a consistent sleeping schedule. Doing this helped me make sleep a priority and not something that I can just easily put on the back burner.
We have to keep reminding ourselves that allowing ourselves enough time to sleep is not a luxury. It’s not something that we can only give ourselves when everything in our lives is going right or when we have solved all our problems. It’s a basic need. It’s a necessity.
Please be kind to yourself enough to know that you deserve to stop for the day, even when everything is not finished, you deserve to rest.
7. Practice Saying No
How many times have you said yes to things regardless of how exhausted you already are just because you were too afraid of disappointing others? I’m also guilty of doing this, for years.
Growing up, I was taught that my worth was based on two things. One would be my achievement. The second one would be based on how useful I was to other people. I took this belief with me as I grew older and it didn’t really matter how stressed and exhausted I already was, I still said yes to things I really didn’t want to do because I was so afraid that if I said no, if I disappointed people then I would no longer be worthy.
If you feel this way too, please let me tell you that your worth and value as a person are never based on your accomplishments or how much you can do for others. Your value is inherent. You don’t have to keep saying yes to things just to gain other people’s approval and validation.
You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to set boundaries. You are allowed to prioritize yourself. We have to remind ourselves that saying no and setting healthy boundaries does not mean that we are shutting other people out entirely or that we are being selfish or unkind.
It simply means that we respect ourselves enough to know our limitations and understand that we can’t always be available to everyone all the time. We also have our needs and there is nothing wrong with prioritizing ourselves, our mental health, and our peace of mind.
So please don’t ever feel guilty for saying no and for setting boundaries. Remember that the only people who would be angry at you for setting those boundaries are those who were benefiting from you having none. The people who truly love you will understand.
8. Make Time for a Hobby That Is Just for Fun
Do you also have this need to be good at everything you try to do? Like if you pick up a hobby, instead of actually letting yourself enjoy it, you just put this pressure on yourself to do it better than others.
I was guilty of doing this. Every time I try something new, I used to have this urge that I needed to teach myself to be better at doing it and then when I couldn’t seem to do it perfectly, I just ended up quitting.
I always had this notion that if you are only doing things for fun and without any intention of being good at it then it would just be a complete waste of time. But I was wrong. I’ve learned that not everything that we do needs to lead to something or become an achievement or a skill that we can proudly show off.
I know that often we are pushed to constantly become the better version of ourselves and there is definitely nothing wrong with that. I’m not saying that wanting to better ourselves and grow is a bad thing.
The problem only starts when we apply that mindset in every aspect of our lives. Instead of just allowing ourselves to enjoy something, we become too focused on doing it perfectly and being better at it than everyone else.
We have to remind ourselves that we can enjoy something even when we are not good at it. We can allow ourselves to try something new without the constant pressure of being good at it.
With the new year coming, let’s give ourselves permission to take up a hobby just for fun. No expectations. No pushing ourselves to be good at it. Let’s just allow ourselves to enjoy the experiment and make mistakes.
I’ve learned that allowing myself to simply enjoy a hobby without expecting myself to be good at it acts as my constant reminder that I can allow myself to be happy even when I’m not achieving something.
9. Spend More Quality Time With Loved Ones
As basic and simple as this step may be, it is still so easy for us to take this for granted. Sure we may be with them all the time but often we don’t really give the people we love our undivided attention.
Sometimes we barely even listen to what they are saying because we are too busy scrolling through our phones or thinking about something else. I’m guilty of doing this too, even if I’m physically with them, my mind is often someplace else.
When they are talking to me, instead of being present and really listening, I get too caught up thinking about everything else that I still need to do. If you do the same thing too, please don’t beat yourself up.
It’s perfectly normal to get too caught up with our problems and responsibilities that we start taking time with our loved ones for granted. There is still time for us to fix this, especially with everything that is going on in the world right now, it’s even more important to make every day with them count.
Let’s start by making the people that we love heard. When they are talking to us, let’s give them our undivided attention and really listen to what they are saying. We can also plan an activity where we get to check in with them and have fun at the same time. Let’s not let a day pass without letting them know how much we love and appreciate them.
I know that life can get too hectic often but we should not let our problems and worries keep us from prioritizing the people who mean the most to us. Let’s remind ourselves that often the most meaningful memories that we can have are sharing even the simplest moments with our loved ones.
10. Have a Monthly Life Check-In
This is another important step. I started doing this a couple of months ago and I definitely underestimated just how this simple act can make such a huge difference in my life.
When a new month begins, I usually set all these goals that I want to achieve. I often tell myself that this is the month where I will be more productive and motivated. I create all these steps that I want to take to help me achieve my goals but as the days go by, I often lose focus and instead of actually following through with my plans, I just end up setting them aside.
That’s why having a monthly check-in is so important to me. Doing this is like pressing a pause button in my life. You know the feeling when we are just too focused on our problems and responsibilities that we lose sight of what we truly want? This step allows me to step back from that, pause, and reflect on how my life is going.
Doing this doesn’t have to be complicated. All you have to do is set aside even 15 to 30 minutes each month and reflect on everything that is going on in your life. To help me get started, I usually ask myself these questions.
How have I been feeling?
What went well this month?
What mistakes have I made and what can I learn from them?
Am I happy with how I’ve been spending my energy and time?
Have I been holding on to habits and routines that are only causing me stress?
What progress have I made this month toward my goals?
You can start by asking yourself these questions too. The important thing here is to be perfectly honest with yourself in your answers. Don’t judge yourself or beat yourself up for the mistakes that you have made or the goals that you didn’t reach.
Please remind yourself that the goal of having a monthly check-in is not to make you feel bad. It’s not pointing out your failures and mistakes and judging yourself for making them. It’s about understanding yourself better and figuring out what you need to do to improve your life and achieve your goals.
Final Thoughts
With the new year coming, please allow me to tell you that you don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself to make this the best year. Remind yourself that you don’t have to figure everything out right away. You don’t have to push yourself to achieve all your goals and make all these huge changes when January comes.
You can take it one step at a time. Let’s remind ourselves that true progress is something that can’t be achieved overnight. It’s a process and it’s definitely going to take some time. The important thing here is not to overwhelm yourself too much that you get too paralyzed to continue.
Be kind to yourself. Know that there will be days when you feel like you are not getting anywhere, during those days please give yourself grace. The journey of improving our lives and building the life that we want is never going to be a straight line.
There will be days when you feel like you are making so much progress and you are so full of motivation and drive but there will also be days that feel like for every step you take forward, you take three steps backward.
During those moments, I hope you remind yourself that what you are going through is normal and that you are not failing. On days when you feel discouraged and you start questioning your capabilities, I hope you remind yourself that you have within you this invaluable strength, courage, and resilience that will help you go through whatever life throws your way.
I hope that you get everything that you want this new year and please know that I’m always rooting for you.
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