I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep. I would wake up feeling guilty and useless – like I no longer served a purpose.
I started to believe that life would never get better for me — that everything will only go from bad to worse. So, there’s just no point in trying anymore.
Everything just became too overbearing that I wanted to just throw my hands up and shout I GIVE UP.
I just wanted everything to stop.
At some point in our lives, we all go through moments like these. We go through so much pain, heartaches, and rejections that we start to believe that good things will never come — that we will never be able to turn our lives around for the better.
We start to think that no matter what we do, no matter how much we try we will always be stuck in this same situation.
And because of that, we often wake up lost, confused, bitter and disappointed at ourselves.
I was in that path. I’ve lived those days. I spent so many days trapped in darkness, misery, and heartaches.
But I’ve realized that though life may seem unfair and confusing at times, and sometimes we even go through situations that turn our whole world upside down, we don’t have to trap ourselves in misery, pain, and confusion.
We don’t have to live our lives in darkness, hating ourselves. It is still possible for us to turn everything around and make each day meaningful.
And in order for me to do this, I knew that I needed to start with myself. I needed to slowly change my perspective and cultivate new habits that will positively impact my life.
Here are 5 Habits that has Positively Changed my Life…
Practicing Daily Gratitude
I lost someone very dear to me due to an illness, I then had to quit my job because of mental health issues and that eventually placed me in a financial hole.
For the past year, life has thrown me nothing but setbacks and rejections.
So, every day I would wake up bitter and I would focus all my energy on everything that’s negative.
All my losses and all the difficulties I’m in, and you know what it got me? Nothing.
It didn’t change my current situation nor did it make me feel better. For what is worth, it only made things worse for me.
It only made me take the things and the people that I have for granted because I was too focused on my losses.
It hurt them and that hurt me more.
You see, if we focus all our attention and energy on our problems, losses, and pain, we tend to overlook the people that are there for us, the things that we still have and the things that could still be.
We start to take them for granted and often, we lose sight of the things that truly matter.
Now, I always take at least 15-30 minutes of my day and spend it writing the things I’m grateful for. No matter how small they may seem.
Doing this reminds me that regardless of what I’m going through, there will always be things to be grateful for every day.
There may be days when we need to look harder but it’s worth it!
Stop taking your mental health for granted and start working towards a happier and healthier you with the help of this Mental Health Printable Planner
Accepting the things that you can’t control
I am what you call a control freak. I believe that if I’m in control nothing bad is going to happen and everything will go as planned.
I spend so much time and energy trying to control everything, trying to prevent bad things from happening.
But of course, I fail. It only caused me so much disappointment and frustration.
Because in reality, no matter how much we like to deny and ignore it, there are a lot of things that we have zero control of.
We were never meant to control everything. We have no power to control everything.
And the moment that I slowly opened myself to this truth I started to realize that instead of fixating over the things that we have no control of, it’s so much more effective to focus all our energy and attention on the things that we can control.
Take everything that you can’t control as an opportunity for you to learn, grow and adapt.
Stop trying to control everything — you were not made to do this. Let go, breathe, accept what it is and appreciate what you have.
I’ve experienced so many setbacks, rejections and failed a dozen times that I started to hate and condemn myself.
Every day I continuously beat myself up for every failure and mistake that I have done in the past that lead me into this darkness.
I made myself believe that regardless of what I do I could never turn my life around. That things will never be okay because I don’t deserve it.
I fell into this spiral of despair all because I failed to forgive myself.
I trapped myself deeper into the darkness all because I choose to hold on to my mistakes and failures.
Yes, forgiving is hard and sometimes the most difficult person to forgive is ourselves.
If you too feel this way, I want you to know this: Regardless of what you have done, regardless of how many times you failed, you deserve to be forgiven.
Stop letting your mistakes paralyze you and keep you from moving on.
Let your mistakes and failures fuel your way into growth, learning, and healing.
Set yourself free from past failures, mistakes, and pain. Allow yourself to continue to grow and heal — you deserve it.
Always make time for yourself
I have this habit of always putting the needs of other’s first before mine. I find it more fulfilling to do that.
But after falling into depression, I realized that one of the main reasons why I’m trapped in this darkness is because I choose to give and give and give until there was nothing left of me.
I was too fixated of putting the needs of other people first that I forgot to take care of my own.
And I don’t want you to make the same mistake. So, here’s what I’ll tell you: Making time for yourself is not selfish. I’m not telling you that putting the needs of other’s first is a bad thing but if you constantly do it to a point where you start to forget yourself, then that’s where the problem begins.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t expect yourself to continue to function, to continue to be truly happy if you are not taking care of yourself.
You won’t always be a priority to others that’s why you need to learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself and make yourself a priority.
Don’t be afraid to choose yourself!
Let Kindness be your Superpower
Probably one of the greatest and most valuable lessons I’ve learned from falling into depression is that everyone is fighting their own battles.
Though we may not see it, they are going through their own pain, their own struggles — the least that we can do is to be kind.
Being kind that doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be a simple and small act — it may not even be a big of a deal for you but sometimes that small and simple act can make a person’s day and sometimes it can even change lives.
In kindness, you have the opportunity to change someone’s life including your own. In kindness, we have the ability to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.
I know sometimes, others can be cruel and hurtful but regardless of what happened or what will happen today, be kind anyway. Let kindness become your superpower — this is a meaningful and peaceful way to live each moment of your life.
Getting rid of an old bad habit and changing it into something that will change your life for the better does not happen overnight, in a day, a week or sometimes even in a month. It’s slow and a continuous process but the important thing is you do it every day.
Remember, consistency is the key. Keep trying, keep going and just keep moving forward — you will get there. I believe in you!
What habits changed your life for the better? Let me know in the comment section below or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional to get the help you deserve.