Life is a series of ups and downs, twist and turns — and last year was my bumpiest and toughest journey yet.
It was a very dark and difficult time for me. I was buried in so much heartache, misery, grief from losing a family member, and not to mention the back to back financial problems that I had to face daily.
It tested every ounce of strength in me — strength that I didn’t even know I had. I cried myself to sleep almost every night – begging for it to end.
I wanted so badly for my situation to change. I wanted so badly to get out of the darkness and escape the pain.
Every day, I remember waking up feeling terrified — I was so afraid of facing yet another day because I knew the amount of struggle and problems it brings.
And at the end of the day, I just felt so hopeless, confused, defeated and just too exhausted — too exhausted to keep going.
If only there was a fast forward button that we can easily press to skip days like those but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way, the only way out is to go through it.
We all go through life experiencing a series of lows and struggles, some struggles are far worse and much more painful than others. We all beg for the pain to stop, for our situation to change.
We all go through days thinking we are not strong enough to make it through but at the end of the day, we do.
We continue to fight and cling on to that little hope left in us.
Going through that amount of pain and struggle last year was not easy, navigating the difficult times and finding hope in the darkest days is difficult — I even thought that it was impossible.
But it’s not. Yes, I suffered, I struggled a lot, cried almost every day and I thought of giving up a hundred times but I pulled through, just like countless others who are facing their own inner struggles and storms and I know that you can too.
If you are going through difficult times right now, here are 5 Proven Methods that has helped me overcome life’s most difficult times…
I’m hoping these will help you too!
Set Goals and take action
After being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, it eventually became too impossible for me to work in a very stressful and toxic environment — so, I had to quit my job.
And everything went downhill from there. I continued to trap myself in misery, regrets and I constantly beat myself up for being a failure and disappointment.
I wanted to change my life. There was still so much that I wanted to achieve, dreams that I wanted to chase but I continued to wallow in despair.
It took me long enough to realize that if I wanted to change my life and turn my situation around, I needed to take control.
It wasn’t easy, there were a lot of days where I wanted to just lie in bed but we have to keep pushing ourselves.
We have to use all the strength that’s left in us and use it to focus and envision ourselves living the life that we want and getting through these dark days.
We have to use that vision as our motivation to keep pushing, fighting and to do whatever it takes for us to heal, recover, grow and change our situation.
Use the struggle to fuel you to change the things and the situation that you no longer want to put up with.
Yes, going after my goals did not solve our problems immediately, it did not take the pain away, but slowly, it helped me improve my situation.
Slowly, it helped me live a better and happier life.
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Accept what you can’t control and focus on what you can control
I always wanted to be in control of just about everything — even the tiniest detail. Being in control somehow makes me feel safe.
It makes me think that as long as I’m in control, I can prevent bad things from happening.
Yes, there are some things that we can control but let’s face it, no matter how hard we try, no matter how many back-up plans we may have, it still doesn’t guarantee that everything will go our way.
And I learned that the hard way. When things started to fall apart for me, I tried so hard to fix it — I tried so hard to control everything thinking that doing this will somehow prevent things from falling apart.
But of course, that didn’t work out. It only gave me more frustration, more heartaches, and a lot more disappointments.
So, instead of worrying over the things that you cannot change, instead of trying to control things that you have no control of, it’s better to focus all your energy to determine the things that you can actually control.
Because that is the only way for you to make a change that will actually help alleviate your current situation.
Remind yourself that it’s not bad to recognize that sometimes, all you can really control is your effort and attitude or reaction towards things.
I cannot stress this enough but remembering to be grateful every day (even for the little things) has helped me so much.
Before I even hit rock bottom, I had this bad habit of complaining. Every time something doesn’t go my way, I complain.
When I finally hit an all-time low, I started to become even more bitter about life. I was in a very dark place, that made it even harder for me to recognize the good things that I still have in my life.
I complained more. I would wake up to bitterness and hate and you know what that got me?
Nothing. It didn’t change my current situation nor did it made me feel better. For what it’s worth, it only made me feel worse.
I learned that it’s so much better to focus all my energy on the things that I still have rather than complaining over the things that I don’t have.
I admit, sometimes it’s difficult to be grateful for something when you are faced with struggles every day, but if we trap ourselves in that negative mindset, we easily lose sight of the things that we still have and the things that could still be.
We must constantly remind ourselves that regardless of what we are going through, there is always something to be grateful for.
We may have to look extra hard for them during dark days, but there are worth finding!
Take it one day at a time; Tackle one problem at a time
I was buried in so many problems. I was fighting inner battles. I was struggling so bad and every day I would wake up to a lot of financial problems.
I had people counting on me and I just didn’t know what to do. Just thinking about all the problems became too overwhelming that it paralyzed me.
I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t even get out of bed. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to face yet another day.
And that only made things worse.
If you too are feeling this way, remind yourself that it’s okay to not have everything figured all at once. You don’t have to tackle all the problems at once.
Take it one day at a time and tackle one problem at a time. Don’t paralyze yourself by worrying about the future.
Focus on the things that you can change and improve today.
When I was navigating through the darkest and toughest days of my life, I thought about giving up more than a hundred times.
On nights when I cry myself to sleep, not knowing what to do, I thought about giving up.
But one of the greatest reasons why I continued to push through is faith.
Faith is what keeps me going on days when the whole world seems to fall apart.
Whether you believe in God or on anyone else, or it could simply be just having faith that things will eventually fall into place, trusting your faith can be your greatest source of strength.
I personally, wouldn’t have made it this far without God (I’m not pushing my religion to you or anything).
But it’s true, I wouldn’t be here, writing this if it weren’t for him. He is my greatest source of strength.
You may be going through a really difficult storm right now and I know it often feels like, whatever we do and no matter how we try we can’t just get through it — I know how that feels.
But I want you to remind yourself that you may feel very low, defeated and exhausted but you are so much stronger than you think. Whatever it is that you are going through will not last and you will come out of it, stronger, braver and wiser.
Keep pushing. Keep fighting. You will make it!