This year, I realized that I was living my life on autopilot for so long. It was work, sleep, and mindless spending in an attempt to fill in the void of emptiness that I was feeling.
I reached a point where waking up no longer excites me. I dreaded the thought of starting a new day because life for me was just meaningless and empty.
Then, one day I hit rock bottom. I was slapped with pain, losses, rejections, and disappointments day after day. I constantly felt like everything I do is wrong.
There was no breather — they all came too fast and that woke me up and I finally saw how unhappy and miserable I was.
I finally realized how empty I felt. I wanted to change my situation so badly.
I can’t tell you how many times I wished that there was just a fast-forward button that I can easily press to skip this chapter because I felt that I didn’t have enough strength to get through it.
I felt that I didn’t have enough strength to pick myself up and turn my situation around — I thought that was is too late.
I have already made so many mistakes, a lot of bad choices that there was just no way for me to fix this.
Sometimes, we often feel this way when we’re faced with the greatest storm or the most painful struggle, we make a lot of bad turns in an attempt to get out of it and we end up making it worse, then we start to think that changing our situation, improving our lives or recovering from the pain and heartaches is just not possible.
I felt that way — for a long time. But I realized, that regardless of how difficult it is, we always have a choice to improve and change our lives for the better.
Regardless of how low and defeated, we may feel, it’s always possible for us to live our days more meaningful, happier, and at peace.
If you want to know how to change your life for the better, here are 5 Choices I’ve Made That have Positively Changed my Life.
I Choose to Forgive
I’ve made so many bad choices that buried me in an even deeper hole than I already was — I resented myself for doing that.
Every day, I would wake up feeling nothing but a failure and full of regrets.
And that’s the reality, when we look back on our mistakes or the mistakes of the people who are dear to us, we feel nothing but pain, anger, regrets, and guilt.
We take the pain and the hatred with us and we allow ourselves to be trapped in the mistakes of the past.
I know forgiving is difficult and sometimes it’s even harder to forgive ourselves but by holding on to anger and hatred we are only hurting ourselves over and over again.
We all make bad choices, we all do things that we are not proud of, it’s time to set yourself free from the pain and regrets and allow your spirit to heal and move forward.
Don’t let the mistakes of the past hold you back. Let them fuel your way to learning, healing, and growth.
Remember, that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you are minimizing the pain of the wrongness that they have done, it simply means that you are now willing to let go and to not let their mistakes or words hurt you anymore.
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I Choose to Believe in Myself
Believe in yourself — easier said than done, right?
Often, we claim that we believe in ourselves — I did.
Most of us do but when challenges come and when we are faced with the toughest storms, the most difficult challenge, a lot of criticisms and we fail even more so than we anticipated, we start to doubt.
We start to question our capabilities. We start to believe that we are not good enough and we give up.
But I’ve realized that having this kind of mindset is not only causing me pain, it’s also paralyzing me and keeping me from reaching my fullest potential.
There will always be trying times, there will always be critics and people who will discourage us but keep in mind those doubts coming from other’s will never make you less capable of reaching your goals.
Don’t let self-doubt take over. We need to stop using it as an excuse to give up.
Don’t give it the power to stop you in achieving your fullest potential.
Keep believing in yourself. Take one small step and keep pushing yourself. You can do it.
I Choose to let go
I choose to let go of the pain, the regrets, the worry, the expectation, and the constant need to be in control.
This year was by far the most painful and most challenging one yet. It was full of many heartaches, failures, regrets, and setbacks.
And every day, I would wake up bitter, stressed, and hating life.
I would constantly push myself to control everything thinking that by controlling it, I would be able to fix things.
But of course, it didn’t work because no matter how hard we try to push ourselves to control every little aspect of life, it’s still won’t guarantee that everything will go our way.
And holding on to regrets, pain, bitterness, and anger did not do me any good either. It did not fix the problem nor did it make me feel better.
It was only keeping me miserable, it was only keeping me from seeing the things that truly matter.
So, instead of focusing all your energy on the things that are only bringing you pain and heartaches, focus all your attention on growth, learning, healing, and moving forward.
There’s no use in clinging on to things, beliefs, people that are only keeping us miserable.
Remind yourself that regardless of how low and defeated you may feel, you always have the choice to choose peace and happiness, you just have to be willing to recognize and let go of the things that are keeping you stressed, unhappy, and miserable.
I Choose to Trust
I choose to trust that I’m strong enough to get through the pain and adversities. I choose to trust that every ending leads to a new beginning.
And most importantly, I choose to trust that today is not forever — the storms, the challenges, and struggles will pass.
When we are faced with so many adversities, we fail a dozen times and we experience so much pain and heartaches, we often think that we are no longer strong enough to continue.
We then come up with this belief that things will only go from bad to worse and that no matter what we do, we will never be able to turn our situation around, so there’s just no point in even trying anymore — I believed this for a long time.
And you know where that got me? Nowhere.
It only paralyzed me from moving on and from going after my dreams. It only kept me miserable and bitter.
If you too are feeling this way, please know that regardless of how low and exhausted you may feel now, you are strong enough to surpass even the strongest storm.
You may have failed more than a dozen times, made so many mistakes, and took a lot of wrong turns but you are still capable of achieving your dreams.
You are still capable of achieving your goals.
Remind yourself that tough times never last. Hard days are necessary for us to grow, learn, and achieve our greatest purpose.
So, keep trying and keep pushing yourself every day.
Do it one step at a time and continue to trust that you are strong enough to overcome the adversities, you are strong enough to get through the pain, and have faith that soon things will fall into place.
I Choose to be Grateful
I had this bad habit of complaining about life. Every time things didn’t go my way (even the smallest thing) I immediately complain and feel bitter.
I carried this habit with me for a long time but after hitting rock bottom, I realized that this habit only made things worse.
It only made me feel twice as miserable and it did not do me any good. Complaining did not change my situation, nor did it fix the problem.
When we focus all our attention on negativity, we easily forget all the wonderful and amazing things that we already have.
Spending our days complaining about everything is one of the easiest ways to waste our life.
It’s one of the things that are keeping us from being happy and at peace.
I know it’s not always easy to keep a grateful heart, especially when you’re struggling, but when life gives you a hundred reasons to complain and be bitter, find a single reason to be grateful and you have to let go of negativity — I find that doing this makes all the difference.
Life will always be filled with unexpected lows, twists, and turns. It may not get easier but you get stronger, you learn and grow.
You may feel so exhausted and defeated to keep going right now but I want you to remind yourself that it’s always possible for you to turn your situation around. It’s possible for you to reach your dreams and be happy and live a peaceful life.
You just have to be willing to do everything to make that a reality.
If you want to change your life, you must be willing to take action and take the first step.
What choices have you made that have positively changed your life? Let me know in the comment section below or send me an email, I would love to hear from you!
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional to get the help you deserve.