People will often tell you to own who you are regardless of what other’s may think and regardless of where life takes you. But if we’re truly being honest, owning who you are is so much easier than done.
If you would have told me this years ago, I would have immediately shaken my head and said, I wouldn’t even know how to start. Truth be told, I wouldn’t even think that it was possible, at least for me.
But before we dive into that, let’s all define the meaning of this phrase first.
What Does Own Who You Are Truly Mean?
Owning who you are means being completely true to yourself. It means embracing who you are, flaws included.
To own who you are is to be confident in your skin. It means accepting yourself completely. It is loving yourself more, knowing your worth, and always believing that you are good enough and worthy of love, happiness, and all things good just as you are now.
Now we all know that owning who you are and knowing your worth is so important and yet it still gets even more difficult to practice every single day.
Especially in Today’s day and age, where we are constantly pressured to fit into these molds. To be the person that people expect us to be.
We are constantly made to believe that for us to be worthy and to be enough, we have to meet certain standards even if it means losing ourselves entirely in the process.
I know this feeling all too well. Growing up for me felt like a competition. I was constantly compared to everyone around me by people that I love.
I was always made to believe that for me to feel enough and worthy, I had to achieve and succeed more than other people.
I was made to believe that my worth was tied to their validation. Of course, I wanted to feel worthy and good enough, so I shaped myself into the person that they wanted me to be.
And of course, that did not end well for me. It wasn’t until much later that I realized how exhausted, drained, and unhappy I was. I lost so much of myself.
But fortunately, it was at that moment, the darkest and lowest point of my life that I learned how crucial it is to own who you are.
Not just because it helps you live a happier, more fulfilled, and more meaningful life but also because let’s face it, life is far too precious to waste your time living somebody else’s life.
Time is fleeting and we don’t want to just spend it trying to meet all these standards and pretending to be someone that we are not just to feel validated.
In this post, I will share some of the things that I found very helpful in helping me navigate self-love, self-worth, and in owning who I am.
How To Own Who You Are
1. Get To Know Yourself
You can’t own who you are if you don’t know yourself that’s why before anything else, this should be the very first step that you must take.
When I was navigating the lowest point of my life, I felt so broken and frankly, I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I even wanted to be.
I have been running away from so many emotions and feelings for the longest time, I’ve decided that the first step that I needed to take to get to know who I am was to sit with all my emotions, let myself feel, and be vulnerable.
Another thing that also helped me was keeping a journal. Journaling allowed me to connect with myself on a much deeper level. It allowed me to express my thoughts, explore my worries and just reflect.
If you would also like to start journaling, here are a few journal prompts for self-discovery and personal growth to help you get started.
2. Stop People Pleasing
Here are a few of the crucial things I’ve learned from being a people pleaser: Constantly pretending to be somebody that you are not just to please and gain other people’s approval is not only a huge waste of time but it is also mentally draining and emotionally exhausting.
If you tie your worth to other people’s validation, you will only live your life constantly trying to meet other people’s expectations of you instead of actually living the life that you deserve.
You will only be stuck and unable to unlock your fullest potential. Please know that you are enough and worthy just as you are now and where you are now.
Even at your lowest point, you are enough. Remind yourself that the only validation that you will ever need is yours. It’s time to set yourself free and finally live the life that you deserve.
Here’s a great post from Psych Central on how to stop being a people pleaser to help you out.
- 12 Best Things To Do To Show Up For Yourself
- 21 Simple Things To Do To Make Every Day Count
- 10 Powerful Things To Do When You Hit Rock Bottom
3. Stop The Comparison Game
You can’t own who you are if you are constantly comparing yourself with everyone around you.
I’ve learned that constantly comparing yourself and your life to everyone around you only keeps you unhappy and bitter and not to mention how bad it is for your self-esteem and mental health.
We all have different journeys. We all have different paths to take. Different challenges to encounter and different storms to navigate.
If you keep comparing yourself and your life with other people’s lives, you are robbing yourself of the chance to actually focus on growth, improvement, and healing.
The only person that you should ever compare yourself with is the person that you were yesterday.
Remind yourself that it is only when you focus on your own growth that you will finally allow yourself to blossom and grow into the person that you were meant to be.
4. Stop The Negative Self Talk
To own who you are means being confident in yourself and you can’t do that if all your ever do is talk yourself down.
I know how easy it is to beat ourselves up and criticize every little thing that we do. I was guilty of this too, and truth be told, I still find myself doing this more often than I would like to admit.
For years, I believed that one of the best ways to motivate myself more is to talk to myself negatively.
I believed that for me to get better and achieve my goals, I needed to criticize myself even for the smallest mistake.
But I was definitely wrong. It only caused me more harm than good. It crushed my confidence and it made me doubt myself and my capabilities.
Don’t get me wrong, offering ourselves constructive advice is still very helpful, especially if it helps us navigate tough times and push through failures and difficulties.
But if you find yourself constantly criticizing every little flaw and mistake, that is where the problem begins.
Learn to offer yourself kindness and compassion and counter every negative self-talk with a positive one instead.
5. Accept Yourself And Love Yourself More
Accepting yourself means embracing who you are now, completely and wholeheartedly. For you to be able to do this, you have to learn to embrace your flaws and weaknesses.
For years I’ve struggled with this, I hated my flaws and I have always believed that my weaknesses were better hidden.
But doing this did not help me grow. For what it’s worth, it only prevented me from really improving myself and from living a more meaningful life.
I pretended to be somebody that I wasn’t thinking that it was so much better than accepting and embracing my flawed self.
But that was not the case. When you accept who you are completely, you are finally setting yourself free from constantly chasing all of those unattainable standards.
When you learn to love who you are and embrace yourself, you are also making way for growth and self-improvement.
I know that doing this is easier said than done. So, let’s try to do it one step at a time, take this 30 Day Self Love Challenge to help you get started on this journey.
Remember that owning who you are is not something that you can just master overnight. It is a constant journey that you have to choose to take every single day.
Remind yourself that you are worthy of being heard, loved, and of so much happiness. Stop trying to dull your sparkle by pretending to be somebody that you are not.
In a world where authenticity is no longer important, be the change and own who you are.
Start living your life and embrace your journey.
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