To show up for yourself means taking care of your needs and learning to put yourself first. It means prioritizing your mental health and doing things that will greatly benefit your overall well-being.
But regardless of how much we deny it, showing up for ourselves is not always on top of our to-do list. Truth be told, most of the time, it’s not even on it.
We are constantly living this fast-paced lifestyle. We rush through life, working on autopilot and taking care of our needs, and actually listening to what our body is telling us is definitely the very last thing on our plates.
Four years ago, I was guilty of this too. I constantly pushed myself to exhaustion and burnout. I felt so drained and unhappy and yet I never even stopped and bothered to ask myself if I was okay.
I kept pushing forward. I ignored what I felt and I kept saying yes to things I didn’t want to do just to please other people. I didn’t realize how great of a toll it took on my emotional and mental health until the day I fell apart.
Hitting my all-time low made me realize how crucial it is to show up for yourself. It is vital in helping us live a balanced, happier, and more fulfilled life.
If you’re currently falling short in this area, in this post, I will share simple things you can easily do to start showing up for yourself to help you be happier and healthier!
These are some of the ways that have greatly benefited my well-being and improved my mental health and I’m hoping that these will help you too!
12 Simple Things To Do To Show Up For Yourself
1. Be Kind To Yourself
I consider this as one of the most important things you can do to show up for yourself. Most of the time, we are guilty of constantly criticizing ourselves for every little mistake, every little flaw.
We beat ourselves up and constantly put ourselves down without realizing that by doing this we are not only harming our confidence but are also negatively impacting our emotional and mental health.
Instead of being your worst critic, try being your own best friend, your very own cheerleader. Give yourself some grace and the love that it deserves.
Every time you feel like criticizing yourself or putting yourself down, pause, breathe, and counter it with words of compliments, understanding, and compassion instead.
2. Practice Daily Positive Affirmations
This relates to what I’ve mentioned above. Repeating daily positive affirmations does not only help you start learning to speak kindly to yourself consistently but it also reframes your mind and negative thinking patterns.
You know the saying, “you are what you think”. Well, that is certainly true! Your thoughts hold great power in shaping who you are and who you want to become.
Just remember that for this practice to work you have to be consistent with it. I also find it more effective if you repeat affirmations that are tailored for you.
If you don’t know where to start, here are examples of positive affirmations for confidence that you can use to help drastically boost your self-esteem.
3. Forgive Yourself
Another crucial aspect in helping you show up for yourself is learning to forgive yourself. While some of us really struggle to forgive others, most of us find it even more difficult to forgive ourselves.
I know how this feels. For years, I have struggled with this. I kept beating myself up for all my regrets, mistakes, and failures.
Doing this did not help me in any way. It just made me feel so much worse. It made me bitter and angry and it kept me stuck.
Remember that you as much as anybody else also deserve forgiveness. Acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibility but also give yourself compassion and understanding and forgive yourself.
Set yourself free and remember that forgiveness is the path to healing and moving forward.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
How many times have you said yes to things you didn’t even want to do just to please other people?
How many times have you overextended yourself regardless of how drained, overwhelmed, and exhausted you already felt?
Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for your emotional and mental health. I’ve learned this the hard way. Before I hit my all-time low, I was guilty of overextending myself regardless of how I felt just to please other people.
It didn’t matter if I was already exhausted or miserable, I still pushed myself to put other people’s needs first before my own thinking that this was my responsibility (even though clearly it wasn’t).
I didn’t realize how much of a toll this was taking on my mental health until I finally fell apart.
Remember that drawing a line to start prioritizing your needs first is not a bad thing. Saying no without having to explain why is acceptable.
You have to set healthy boundaries to avoid losing yourself in relationships, careers, and basically in life.
5. Don’t Be Afraid To Feel
Most of us may think that showing up for ourselves means constantly putting on a brave face and just keep pushing through.
But I’ve learned that sometimes the greatest thing that you can do to show up for yourself is to allow yourself to be vulnerable, acknowledge what you are feeling, and learn to sit with them.
You may think that if you just continue to bottle up all your emotions and just set them aside that eventually, they will go away but based on my experience, they don’t.
What they actually do is keep you from moving forward. They keep you from letting go of the past and most importantly from healing.
Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. I actually see it as a sign of great strength and courage. Don’t be afraid to let yourself feel, to let yourself cry.
Remember that it is through this process that you will find peace that will finally allow you to heal and move forward in life.
6. Practice Self Care
Self care is a crucial aspect in helping you show up for yourself. In today’s world, where we are constantly checking things off our to-do list, and rushing to meet deadlines, it’s so easy to take self care for granted.
We‘ve allowed ourselves to believe that constantly pushing ourselves to exhaustion is the key to helping us achieve our dreams and goals.
While working hard is important, taking the time to practice self care is also just as necessary.
You have to take care of yourself and your needs for you to keep taking care of others. You have to take a break and recharge for you to have the energy to keep doing your job effectively.
7. Celebrate Your Wins
Do you notice that it’s so much easier for us to focus on the times that we have failed and made a mistake instead of the times that we have succeeded and achieved something? I was stuck with this mindset too.
But I’ve realized that doing this did not help me in any way. Truth be told it only made things worse for me. It destroyed my confidence and it just made me doubt myself and if I’m good enough to actually improve my life and achieve my goals.
Acknowledging what you are capable of and celebrating your wins, big and small is another way of showing up for yourself. Doing this will drastically boost your confidence and remind you of your capabilities and worth.
So, start celebrating you. Acknowledge how far you’ve come and all the obstacles and challenges that you have overcome. You are doing great!
8. Do Something That Grounds You
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by life. It’s easy for our thoughts to spiral out of control and paralyze us in fear. That’s why doing anything that grounds you and allows you to breathe and focus on the present moment is so important for your well-being.
This can be as simple as taking a mindful walk. It can also be meditation or yoga. Basically, anything that will help you connect with yourself, organize your thoughts and just breathe out all the chaos and noise of life.
Try to carve out at least 15-30 minutes of your time for this activity every day. Doing this does not only help you show up for yourself but it will also greatly benefit your productivity, creativity and focus.
9. Stop Negative Self Talk
You can’t show up for yourself if you are constantly diminishing your worth, capabilities, and value by constantly giving yourself unhelpful and toxic advice.
There’s no denying that we can be our very own toughest critics. Most of the time it can be helpful, especially if we offer ourselves constructive advice that will motivate us to push through difficult times.
But in most cases, we only find ourselves constantly beating ourselves up for every little mistake. Constantly criticizing every little flaw.
And let me tell you, doing this is not going to make it better. It will only make it worse, that is what it did for me. It will only make you doubt your capabilities, therefore, limiting your potential.
It will only make you believe that you are not good enough and that you are not worthy. It’s time for us to replace that with positive self-talk and compassion instead.
Here’s a great post from Forbes that will help you stop negative self-talk.
10. Do More Of The Things That Make You Happy
You have to find time to do things that will make you laugh. Things that will fill your heart with so much joy. When we are rushing through life, it’s easy to take this for granted.
But doing more of the things that make us happy does not only help us live a meaningful life and make every day count but it also drastically improves our mental health and helps alleviate stress and anxiety.
This may be a small step that we can easily forget especially when we have so much on our plate. But this little step can have such a huge impact on how we face life.
11. Practice Loving Yourself More
Another crucial aspect that will help you show up for yourself is to love yourself more. Loving yourself unconditionally, is easier said than done right?
There’s no denying that loving yourself is one of the hardest things that you can do. To be honest with you, I’m not even there yet.
But one thing that has made it easier for me is by reminding myself that self love is a journey. It is something that you have to learn to do every single day.
It’s not something that you can easily master overnight, for a week or even a year. It’s not a straight path either. The important thing is that you practice it every single day.
Take this 30 Day Self Love Challenge to help you get started on this journey.
12. Be Your Authentic Self
You can’t show up for yourself if you keep pretending to be someone you are not. I know that in today’s world, it’s so easy for us to think that we are not good enough.
So we pretend to be somebody else to please other people and gain their approval and validation just so we can feel that we are worthy and that we have value.
I know what you’re feeling and I want you to know this: You don’t have to prove anything to anyone to be good enough. You don’t have to pretend to be somebody you’re not just to gain their approval and to feel worthy.
You are enough just as you are now. The only approval that you will ever need is your own. Life is by far too precious to just spend it pretending to be somebody else. Be your authentic self.
Live YOUR life, enjoy every moment of it, and embrace your journey. You are worthy and you are capable of great things if you just allow yourself to embrace who you are completely.
When you show up for yourself, you are not only paving the way toward a happier and healthier life but you are also opening yourself up to growth and to unlocking your fullest potential.
Ultimately, it’s best to remember that everyone’s journey may look different. This is your journey, so don’t feel pressured to try all the things above at once. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. You got this!