After being diagnosed with debilitating depression, experiencing a series of losses and failures, hitting rock bottom, I came to a point where when people ask me what I wanted, my answer would be: I just want to be happy…
For the past year, I was at my lowest. I struggled every single day, I wanted to scream and just end everything because I thought that no matter what I do, I would never find true happiness and inner peace.
That everything will always go from bad to worse. Because that was the life that I was living.
All the financial struggles, the failures, disappointments, the pain from losing someone — they came all at once.
I wanted so bad to break free from the pain, from all the bitterness, and from all my negativity, it felt like I was constantly chasing happiness.
I treated happiness as a destination and as a goal. It was always like, “when I’ll finally have the courage to leave this job and go for something that I love then I’ll be happy”
But after having to quit my job and finding the opportunity to do something that I love, I then realized that happiness is not a destination. It’s not a goal, a place, or a thing.
Because I was happy but only for that moment and it didn’t take long enough for me to associate my happiness with my next goal.
And let me tell you, constantly chasing happiness is exhausting. It’s like being stuck in a never-ending cycle of disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Because life is never easy. There will always be roadblocks, challenges, and struggles that will test every ounce of strength in us and if we continue to treat happiness as an end-result or something that is found in the next place, the next job, we miss out on a great opportunity to see the beauty of our journey.
We missed out on the opportunity to let go of the bitterness and be happy for the things that are happening now.
Associating my happiness with only my good days was a big mistake. For years, I lived my life always dissatisfied and bitter.
Have you asked yourself this question, what makes people happy? Chances are, you too might be feeling the same way…
If you’re tired of being stuck in this negative cycle of disappointment and dissatisfaction, and if you’re looking for ways to improve your ability to find happiness even in the darkest days,
here are 5 things to do to be genuinely happy…
These things helped me steer my life in a more peaceful and happier direction regardless of the situation — I’m hoping that it will do the same for you!
They don’t worry about what other people think…
Nowadays, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of pleasing other people. We always want to gain other’s approval that we end up doing whatever it takes just to feel accepted or validated.
Often, we end up pretending to be someone we are not or we end up chasing perfection just to please other people.
I did this for a long time that it took so much toll on me emotionally and mentally that I ended up losing a part of myself.
I know it’s great to be validated by other people every now and then. I know it feels amazing to be accepted by others but it pays to remember that the only validation and acceptance that you will ever need is from yourself.
You don’t need to please other people just so you can prove to yourself that you are good enough — because as long as you are trying, fighting and giving your best, you already are.
The moment that you decide to free yourself from other’s expectations is the moment that you will finally be able to become your true self.
It’s the moment that you’ll finally be able to become the best version of yourself.
Remember, that the people that truly matter and the people that truly love you will accept you for who you are — flaws and limitations included.
Related Posts:
- How to be Happy – 30 Day Happiness Challenge
- How to Change your Life – Adopt these 5 Habits
- How to Let Go of Negative Thoughts – 4 simple steps
- 25 Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
- List of Bad Habits to Quit Immediately
They stop living with regrets…
Every now and then, we go through roadblocks and often we end up making bad decisions, we end up taking wrong turns and we fail.
Now that’s normal. Everyone fails, everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. The question is, will you let that bad decision, that mistake, that failure rule your life?
Will you allow yourself to wallow in regrets?
Truth be told, I let all my mistakes and failures get the best of me.
I allowed myself to live in the past and wallow in regrets instead of taking responsibility for my actions and finally having the courage to stand up and do something about it.
It took me long enough to realize that if you want to change your life, you need to stop holding on to your regrets and start taking control of your life.
Don’t let those bad decisions and wrong turns stop you from living, from being happy.
Remember that you are strong enough to move past them and you have the ability to change and improve your life.
They are kind and they develop a habit of helping others…
Letting kindness be your superpower and helping others without expecting anything in return has a way of nourishing our soul, making us happy.
It doesn’t take much to be compassionate towards other people. It doesn’t take much to make someone’s day.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from hitting rock bottom and from living with depression is that everyone is fighting their own battles.
Everyone is going through their own struggles if we can only offer compassion and kindness to the people that we meet and the people that we encounter, that small action can make a huge difference.
I know sometimes others can be cruel and just hurtful but regardless of what will happen today, be kind anyway.
Let kindness and the love for helping others become your superpower — this is the most meaningful and peaceful way to live life.
They don’t forget to express gratitude for what they already have…
Learning to be grateful for the things that I already have instead of complaining and yearning for what I don’t have has tremendously changed my life and gave me a deeper sense of contentment and inner peace.
I experienced so much pain, struggles, and problems at once and that eventually made me bitter. It made me complain about everything.
I would wake up bitter and so quick to anger and you know what that got me?
Nothing. It didn’t fix my problems nor did it make the pain go away.
For what it’s worth, it just made things harder and it just made me feel worse.
I know it’s so easy to be grateful when everything is going our way but when things start to fall apart that’s when the real challenge begins.
It pays to remember that happiness and inner peace come so much more quickly if we develop the ability to look past the pain, stop complaining about all our problems, let go of negativity and start being grateful for the things that we have and for the problems that we don’t have.
Learn to live your life by taking it moment by moment, learning and enjoying the journey, complaining less, and being thankful for the little things — doing this makes a huge difference!
They don’t take themselves for granted…
Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs every now and then is not selfish. Self-care is crucial to our overall happiness and well-being.
Since I was a people pleaser, I used to put everyone else’s needs before mine and I did this for a long time until I fell apart.
It took so much toll on me emotionally and mentally and I knew it was happening but I ignored it thinking that it wasn’t worth the attention and time until it finally broke me.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to put the needs of others first but if you continue to do this to a point where you start to forget your needs and your happiness then that’s when the problem starts.
Recognize that it’s not selfish to take time for yourself. It’s not bad to put your needs first every now and then. We all need a break and breather.
Don’t be afraid to make yourself a priority! Don’t be afraid to choose yourself!
Life is not always easy. We all go through a series of bad days and we experience difficult times that can turn our world upside down. We won’t always wake up happy — I think no one does, but we always have the op option to choose it.
We just have to do hard things first and make a conscious effort to let go of the things that are sabotaging our happiness. We need to start breaking bad habits and changing them into habits for happiness to help us live more peacefully and be happy.
Your Turn…
What are the habits that helped you live a more peaceful and happier life? Let me know in the comment section below, I’d love to hear from you!
Hi there, thank you for sharing some of what you have experienced in the struggle of depression,
It really resonated with me when you expressed that you always put the needs of others before your own, I have done this in all relationships of my life, I didn’t see how badly I was always trying to make everyone happy, I forgot about my own happiness, this added to my negativity, I became consumed on my negativity after I had mental break down that resulted in my remembering of my childhood traumas that came and knocked me out, (not literally) but in the context of knocking me out of every good relationship, every good opportunity, and a self medicating habit of drug abuse, just to feel anything but shitty, I found that being kind to others and helping with things they needed help with or making meals for others helped a bit, but I found that quickly others even people I really care about and love, were still very much unkind to me, I feel lost and alone, and even worse depressed, at times I feel suicidal, I have never had thoughts of suicide in the past, in the last 4 months I have made one attempt and think about it once a day, I am trying to move forward from where I am, but I am afraid of being alone, having uncertainty, standing by on the side lines watching everyone else be happy, I don’t want to emotionally hurt anyone, but it’s really difficult because alot of the people I love and care about have caused me with dibilitating emotional pain and dismiss mine without validation, this causes my depression to grow and I end up doing the very thing I want to avoid by causing others emotional pain, I’m stuck I don’t want validation from a therapist or psychiatrist, I over think everything which allows me to know exactly what my problems are, I’m just struggling with finding a solution.